Those nasty phobias

Hi, my name is Anne Rainey and I’m afflicted with the following phobias:
Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders.
Altophobia - Fear of heights.
Apiphobia - Fear of bees.

Okay, I hear the first step is admitting it. Now what? LOL

Let’s get serious. I really, truly have a fear of spiders. I freak out when I see one, and I can’t get close enough to kill them, so we buy spray. I can kill them that way, because I don’t have to actually touch them. Let me tell you one of the worst times in my life, when my phobia held me in its grasp.

Back when I was in high school still, I was at home by myself. It was in the evening, not sure where everyone was, it was unusual for me to be at home alone actually. Anyway, there I was munching on some cheese puffs and watching t.v. when something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I turned and looked. Something on the floor moved. I froze as I saw what it was. A spider. And not some baby thing either. This was like a spider on steroids or something. I freaked and jumped from the couch to the coffee table. I stood on that coffee table for (this is not an exaggeration) hours. I shook with fear as I tossed things at the spider. I couldn’t bring myself to actually step onto the floor and walk over and kill it. I just couldn't.

Anyway, there I was, on the coffee table, my legs aching, tears streaming down my cheeks. I was terrified. Absolutely terrified. Finally, my brother came home. He looked at me, I pointed to the spider, he stepped on it and rolled his eyes, then went to his room. I could finally breathed again. Although I couldn't sleep that night for fear of more spiders.

I never told my family that I’d stood on that coffee table for literally hours, frozen by my own irrational fear. I was embarrassed and I knew they’d laugh it off. That’s the thing about a phobia. You know it’s irrational, but that doesn’t make it any less real. I wish I could overcome it. I wish it didn’t sound so crazy. I wish I could be like those people who scoop up a spider and set it outside. Uh-uh, no way. Not in this lifetime. It’ll never happen. The very idea makes my skin crawl.

Now my fear of bees and heights isn’t quite as bad. I think because there are ways to avoid those. But it’s a physical condition, none the less. If I get up on a chair to change a light bulb, someone has to hold onto my legs, because I get dizzy. My feet will start to ache too. Soon, I’ll feel myself begin to sway. It’s a few feet of the ground! Nothing is going to happen a few feet off the ground! But try telling me that while I’m up on that chair.

I’m grateful I’m not afraid of more things. I’m not Monk, after all. But, it’s still frustrating to feel out of control over your own feelings.

Now, what’s your fear? Crowded places, germs, needles, closed in spaces...? And what was the worst moment in your life when your fear held you in its grasp? Have you conquered your fear? If so how?

And for an interesting list of fears, check out this link: http://www.phobia-fear-release.com/phobia-list-definitions.html