The funniest thing happened to me a few days ago. Let me start by saying...YES, I ocassionally have major BLONDE MOMENTS and, okay, I had one. We've been doing major renovations at my house and I have workers crawling around all over the place. I'll be living with this crap for about a month so please send chocolate and little umbrella drinks because I'll need them to see me through.Last weekend, I cleaned closets, drawers and basically moved things out of the way. A huge job and yes, I finally reached a point of exhaustion that I just wanted it DONE. I made it to a drawer full of stuff. Old manuscripts that will never see the light of day and copies of synopsis that had been sent to publishers in New York and returned with a "thanks but no thanks." Why was I keeping this stuff? Now, when I did my closet, I looked at clothes and figured if I hadn't fit my fat ass in them during the past twenty years, it was a goner. Straight into the bag for Salvation Army. I did the same with this drawer full of paperwork. I didn't pay a lot of attention, just started shoving the papers in a trash bag which was later hauled off.
This is where the story gets interesting. A couple of nights later I got a call from a man I'd never met. He'd been going through a dumpster (why I don't KNOW). He called me by name and said he'd found some papers that said SYNOPSIS that included my name, address, phone number and social security number. I think my eyes must've bugged right out of my head. The family got very quiet. He went on to say that he was sure I didn't want that information floating around out there and would it be okay if he destroyed these papers for me.
Did I pee my pants???? Almost. It was one of the DUMBEST things I'd ever done! No, my husband didn't kill me but it was a close thing. Maybe he took pity on me because I was so busy trying to kick my own ass.
When I talked with other writer friends about the stupid thing I'd done, one said...hm, sounds like a good story to me. Then another chimed in. Then another. A story began to form in my head and so in the middle of this awful thing, I found a way to work everything out.
Has anything ever happened in your personal life that you've turned into a kickass story? As a reader, have you ever gone somewhere on vacation or done something interesting that you thought might MAKE at good story? And, just to make me feel better, what's one of the dumbest things you've ever done? Will it help me feel not quite so DUMB? I doubt it, but give it a whirl.
10 comments:
Okay, Regina, you just made my day! That has to take the cake. I usually burn my old stuff. That way, no one can read my past efforts (could call them something else but let's just leave it at that).
The only really stupid thing I've done (really said) was the time when a squirrel got into the hospital and I helped to catch it. The dang thing jumped on my back and I hollered at everyone to be still, I had it. Of course, it had me. Rode my back all the way out the door and to the freedom of the great outdoors! It was only after everything was over with that I realized how stupid I looked and sounded to all the people around. LOL! The things we do!
Hm. Sounds like a story there, Judith. LOL. That's how I ended up looking at it. One of my friends actually wondered if someone might grab one of my old manuscripts and READ IT??? Probably more than an editor ever did. LMAO.
The squirrel thing reminds me of the Christmas Vacation movie where the squirrel is in the Christmas Tree and everybody goes berserk. snicker.
When I was a very young mother, Baby Pictures were done door-to-door. So With a new baby, I was quite anxious to have my baby's picture done professionally. Later of course the guy came back with proofs. Ahem.
My husband came home from work and I showed him what I had ordered--$57 worth of pictures (this was 40 years ago!) Well, he wanted to know what the heck I got for $57 and I had no clue.
One note... as a bonus I received a fabulous cookbook. Have to say I sure got my money's worth with that cookbook!
Our first baby pictures were like that. Mom said they came to the house and it was convenient...especially since she didn't drive! Don't recall if she got a cookbook out of the deal. I think as new mothers we make soooo many little mistakes.
Sorry I'm just making the rounds. The girls and I spent the morning at a friends house for a playdate. I'm so glad the guy called you! That's very scary. Okay, I'm going to tell you something that is VERY, VERY embarrassing. I was at my sisters house. They were doing some remodeling and the bathroom door didn't have a doornob on it. Well I went in, did my business and when I was done I knocked out the thing they had in the whole where the doornob goes out. I got this weird scared feeling all of a sudden. I have no idea why. I felt trapped. So I bend down and peek through the whole and yell for my sister. I told her "I'm stuck" She looks at me like I'm crazy, puts her hand in the whole and pulls the door open. "Duh!" I have NO idea what I was thinking. I thought since that thing fell through the whole I was stuck. One of those totally DUMB moments, LOL. Everyone was laughing at me.
I've done some pretty dumb things. I won't even go into it all right now, but trust me when I say what you did is minor in comparison! LOL
I will say this. Something strange did happen to me once and yes I'm going to turn it into a book. Think 'stalker'. I plan to go public with this very scary incident in Monday's blog. Stay tuned! :)
Oh wait, there is a few doozies I just thought of. I once cashed my paycheck, then went to a bar. Someone stole every last penny of it. I had to borrow from my brother to make it through the week. Thank God he was nice about it, he never said anything, just 'let's try not to do that again, okay sis?' lol
Another one. I once accepted a ride from a strange man. I was on my way home from work when my car broke down. This happened a lot back then because I couldn't afford a nice car. This was before cell phones. A man stopped and asked if I was okay. I'd been crying and told him my car broke down. He took me home, all the way he explained that I should never take rides from strangers. Turns out he had a daughter around my age. He escorted me to my front door and talked to my parents about me getting a more reliable car. I got lucky that night. God was surely watching over me. I don't know what the hell I was thinking getting in that guy's car. Thank God and that ain't no joke!
I try not to do dumb things but sometimes they're unavoidable. Like about a month ago, a moth flew in my ear and I had to go to the hospital to get it flushed out. That was embarrassing and I didn't hear the end of it for quite a while.
OMG!!! Did you really Barb??? That's hysterical. I'm sure it wasn't a bit funny at the time but damn. The hospital???
A pigeon once shit on my head when I was talking to a cute guy whom I had a big crush on. LOL. Rather than laugh and go on, I pretended like it didn't HAPPEN. What a putz!!!!
Oh it's funny now. Not at the time though. I was screaming and crying to get it out. My husband was flustered about what to do. That daggone moth fluttering up against my ear drum was the worst thing. Creepy! And then this intern doctor is looking in there and says "what is that?" and he's got the strangest look on his face. Thank goodness, the moth was dead by then. My husband had already drowned it with water and peroxide trying to flush it out before we decided to go to the hospital.
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