Friday, October 17, 2008

BAAAAD Covers!!!

I know we talk about covers a lot around here because, let's face it...a BAD cover can ruin a good story. Most writers have had them and wanted to bawl because their story didn't get the cover they felt it deserved. Something magnificent, of course. My own first cover made me want to cringe. I was so disappointed. Since then, I've been happy with my covers but I know eventually I'll get another sucky one. It's just a matter of time. One of the most famous stories of "sucky covers" involved the Get Lucky cover for the long awaited story of Lucky, Suzanne Brockman's handsomest of the handsome Navy SEALS. Everyone wanted this book and, of course, Suzanne is an awesome writer. So what does she get for her ultra handsome and hunky LUCKY???

Obviously Suzanne has a great sense of humor. She was, naturally, appalled about this cover and had no control. She immediately went on her website and offered SMILEY FACE KITS to cover the hero. Funny.


Now these covers are completely FAKE and done by a very funny guy named Longmire. Don't know if you've seen these but they are a hysterical take on romance covers. Check out Longmire Does Romance Novels for even more of this great stuff. So in honor of the weekend coming and because we ALL need a good laugh on a daily basis, I've provided a little sample of his work. Do you have a favorite?






32 comments:

Connie Northrop said...

A little closer to the edge! Yes!
Too funny.
Thanks!

Regina Carlysle said...

Figure most of us can use a good laugh. I love that one. Yes, closer to the edge, my darling. Ooops.

Anne Carrole said...

HaHaHa! Thanks for the laugh! Okay, I do have a favorite--LOL. Lord of the Hissy-fit--I just love covers with bare-chested guys--even with that title!:)

Anne Rainey said...

I've never read Brockman, but I remember the buzz when this cover was released and I remember feeling so bad for the author. What a horrible thing to have happen! Good thing she has a thick skin! Wowzers!

And that first spoof cover, 'sissy-boy' ROTFLMAO!!! That's too hilarious! Thanks for the laughs, Rita!!

TGIF!!

Kelley Nyrae said...

ROFL. I needed a good laugh this morning.

Regina Carlysle said...

The Blind and Buttonless Horseman cracked me up. Looks like he's running the heroine over with that damn horse. SNICKER.

Regina Carlysle said...

Anne, you've never read Suzanne Brockman? OMG...her work is great. She might've been the author that put Navy SEALS in vogue. Now she's mainly in hardback but she's a NY Times Bestseller. You need to read some of her stuff and yes, she's known for having a great sense of humor.

Anne Rainey said...

Regina--and her husband is an ex SEAL, right? Talk about research assistants!! *g*

KellyMarstad said...

Okay, I'll say it. The "Wait for it" had me rolling!!! Ready, Aim....

jesse-fox said...

I've only had two books published so far, but I had a situation with the cover of my first when it supposed to be published by the first company. Long story. *rolls eyes*

I remember being excited and when I opened the file I nearly choked. The main character is a academic. I write gay erotica. Let's just put it this way-I showed all my friends the cover in horror and disappointment. It ended up not being used, but my friends nicknamed the cover 'The Angry Rent Boy'. ROFLAO!!

Thank god I had my sense of humor kick in after the initial horror. ;-)

These covers are bloody hilarious.

Amy Ruttan said...

OMG Two of Margaret's. I'll have to let her know, I think she'd get a kick out of them!! LOL!

And that Navy Seal looks a little hefty to me. LOL.

Regina Carlysle said...

I know, Kelly M.! That one had me rolling.

Regina Carlysle said...

The Angry Rent Boy??? OMG. The cover sample of my very first book featured my regency heroine as something that had stepped out of the old west. The hair was sooo wrong too. Remember those hairdo's from the late 60's (a beehive thing) with the curly-Q in front of each ear. Yep. She HAD those. And she looked sooo pissed off. Like she was ready to smack someone. I just about died. Got another that was a little better but by that time, I felt like such a pain in the ass, I let it go. I was sooo sad about it.

Regina Carlysle said...

Amy, on the site where I got the pic of the Get Lucky cover, someone commented that he didn't look like Lucky but like "someone's fat cousin Stanley". I laughed until tears were rolling. Someone else mentioned the "Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man". Now I'm not one to judge on appearance but when the fans are WAITING for a book about this drop dead gorgeous SEAL and they get THIS??? Hmm.

Cindy Spencer Pape said...

Love Longmire's site!

Susan Macatee said...

LOL! Very funny!!

But they do remind me of some of the romance covers out there way back in the 80s.

Regina Carlysle said...

Oh, they ARE real covers. This guy just changed the titles.

Diana Castilleja said...

I've seen his stuff before. S. McMullet... OMG! And the Wait for it! Cracks me up every time.

Thanks for the giggle. ;)

J.K. Coi said...

That Norah Hess one is too funny, lol, thanks for this today, I needed to laugh!

Regina Carlysle said...

I KNOW I sure needed to laugh. Everyone I know, including ME, has been down in the dumps. Nothing serious...just BLAH,ya know?

ddurance said...

"I'm About to Let One" was really funny!

Deidre

flchen1 said...

Those were hilarious, thank you! I have that Brockmann, BTW, but didn't get the cover sticker kit! Rats! ;)

Genella deGrey said...

Poor Susan! Ugh!

I have a few writer friends who LOATHE their covers - and they got them from NY publishers! I just don't get that. Shaking head*

I will be published out of a house by the name of Freya's Bower - which is NOT out of NY, and I love my cover. I have a total infatuation with it - hehe! I could stare at it for hours. :)

I love the faux romance covers - made me tear-up because I was laughing so hard.

:D
G.

Regina Carlysle said...

From what I understand authors with the NY pubs get ZERO input on covers. That's a nice thing about small epubs. They'll work with you to help you get your dream cover. That's nice.

Regina Carlysle said...

Oh flchen1...I remember buying that book too and I actually gasped when I saw the cover. Everyone was waiting for it to come out and NO ONE could believe how awful it was. One of those 'smiley face' kits would've been a cool collectors item but I, for sure, would've wanted to put it over poor Lucky's face. LOL

Wonder if anyone saw Lori Foster's Sawyer cover? That one was just about as bad. Looked like Donald Trumps face on this buffed up body. Soooo weird looking.

Lee Anne said...

LOL! Thanks for the laugh Regina.

Kealie Shay said...

I LOVE the Join My Cult... please? one... ROTFLMAO

Thanks for the laughs.

Brittany Kingston said...

They're all great. I had a hard time choosing which one I like the best. "For the Love of Scottie McMullet" had me laughing, but I think my vote has to go to "Lord of the Hissy-Fit" - for all the wrong reasons. Too funny!

Savanna Kougar said...

Poor Susan!!! Although, she recovered the best way possible.

Thankfully, I love all my covers, so far, with one tiny issue with one, and that's it. And I hope it stays that way! Please, cover gods and goddesses.

Who can choose a fave worst one? They're all funny in their over-done way.
Lord of the HissyFit, now, that's a title...lol.
However, I'll give to 'em for pure drama.

Regina Carlysle said...

Yeah, I love that "join my cult please" cover. Just check out that guys FACE! It just hit me funny because you can imagine it!

Anne Clayre Mason said...

These are really funny. I enjoyed the laugh, especially "McMullet"

Sandra Cox said...

Funny, Regina. And what timing, I've got a cover posted to. A little bit different.....Take a peak.