Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Fingernails on a Chalkboard

I don't watch a lot of television. Usually the tube is on but it's just background noise for me while I write or mess around on my computer. But there are some things that are just impossible to ignore. One of those things are those 'fingernails on the chalkboard' commercials. You know the ones I mean. That guy named Billy something-or-other who screams loudly while hawking the absorbency of some housecleaning item really grabs your attention. It's almost scary to be screamed at like that.

Lately there have been a couple of these tv ads that give a whole new meaning to the word annoying. Anybody see these ads for the Snuggie blanket? It's a fleece blanket with sleeves. In reality, it would be kind of handy to be able to wrap up in a blanket and not have to constantly move your arms in and out, but these commercials are just the DUMMEST! The grinning actors are doing all kinds of stuff in these things but I especially cringe at the "family" scene where the happy little kids and mom and dad are sitting around playing a board game, each wearing a Snuggie. Then they move the Snuggie outside, showing a 'fake' outdoor scene involving bleachers at a supposed sporting event. The family sits there looking like a bunch of little MONKS while they applaude and grin like idiots. No doubt they are smiling because they look so damn chic in the blankets with sleeves.

So I guess the big question of the day is Who the HELL comes up with these corny commercials? What are some of the worst you've seen lately?

On to other matters, I'd like to mention that I have two releases this week. Tomorrow is the release day of my first paranormal menage, Feral Moon. This is an Ellora's Cave title and I'm really excited about this one. It's a really short book but my first ever paranormal menage. The following is an adult blurb and excerpt of the book.


Blurb:

In the midst of a smoky club, a firestorm of lust whips through Mahara Jones, drenching her panties, heating her core. The abnormal desire leaves her helpless and confused until her boss, Titus Declan, sweeps her away into the world of were-panthers and she learns she is destined to be his mate and queen of the Turquoise Moon tribe. It is a night of secrets and discovery, of sexual pleasure without equal, but her hybrid psychic powers present Titus with a challenge of his own. Tonight it will take more than one strong were-panther to bring her fully into his world. With the sexual help of his closest lieutenants, Titus will claim his queen and ensure the future of their species.
Reader Advisory: Includes a M/M/F/M scene.

Excerpt: (ADULT)
Shock whipped through her system and she was so stunned she could only nod mutely when James swept Trish off to the dance floor. Something unexplainable was happening to her and it had been going on for days. It had begun as little things that she’d thought were just weird premonitions. Like James coming up behind Trish when he had. She’d seen it in her mind before it happened. And her body. Something bizarre was going on. Every beat of the music made her blood heat and the very core of her body pulse to a pagan tempo. Restlessly, she squirmed in her chair and sent her gaze wildly around the room. Her panties were drenched. Mahara rubbed her thighs together hoping against hope to stem the rising tide. Sexual excitement rose up like a great beast to center in her pussy, deep and pulsing, a release longing to break free. She wanted to grab the nearest man and throw him to the floor and take him like an animal.
Every tiny hair on the back of her neck rose to attention and Mahara’s heart thumped sharply in her chest. The turquoise stone in her ring heated against the finger on her right hand where she wore it. Lifting her glasses, she settled them back on her nose but she didn’t need them any longer and wearing them was just stupid. A visit to her eye doctor would only tell her what she already knew. Her vision seemed to have perfected itself overnight. Impossible. Through the lenses, the ring went fuzzy. Mahara huffed a breath and yanked them off, shoved them in her purse just as their waitress came up. “Drink?”
“Um, no. But could you do me a favor?”
“Sure.”
Mahara glanced toward the dance floor. “Could you tell my friend that I have to take off?”
“No problem.”
Shakily, she got to her feet and slung the strap of her purse over her shoulder intending to walk the few blocks to her downtown apartment. The feeling of being stalked hit her in a giant wave and she felt her knees start to buckle but she caught herself on the edge of the table. Suddenly, a huge hand wrapped around her elbow to steady her and she looked up to see her boss, the great Titus Declan staring down at her.
She’d never seen or known a more devastating man. Big, brawny, ripped with muscle, he looked like a Viking bent on plunder with that longer-than-fashionable black hair and weird golden eyes. But he was her boss. She barely knew him. Suddenly, she blinked. “Mr. Declan.”
“Titus.”
“Um. Hi.”
“Let me help you.”
Mahara felt her legs turn to rubber. The warmth of his touch seeped through the cotton of her blouse and a wave of longing, of heat swept her. The ring seemed to vibrate against her hand. Wetness, created by an awful lust, drenched her, seeped from her core. She wanted sex. Craved it. Oh God! She was in big trouble and didn’t know what to do about it. Tears filled her eyes as she stared up at him. “Help me.”
“Come on.”
Without another word, he put his arm around her and drew her close to his body. She had the sudden insane urge to sink into him and crawl up the all that brawn and take his mouth. She wanted his cock soothing the awful ache in her pussy. His smell was intoxicating. Mahara felt her heart thump wildly in her chest. “I-I think someone put something in my drink,” she managed.
He only tightened his grip. His hand skimmed her arm and a shiver followed in its wake. Sweat beaded her forehead. When they reached the entrance to the club, he drew her to the brick wall near the front door. Neon white from the overhead sign splashed light intermittently over his feral features. The front of his shirt grazed her nipples and she gasped at the feel of the firm muscles beneath the fabric. Pleasure-pain, wicked sensation, made her moan.
“Shh.”
“What’s wrong with me?” Mahara gripped his sides and stared up at him. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Don’t be. All will be clear soon.”
“I don’t understand.”
He pressed his lips to her forehead as he replied. “Soon. You’ll understand soon.”

14 comments:

Anne Rainey said...

I'm soooo buying this one!!!! Excellent, Regina!

Kelley Nyrae said...

Stupid commercials drive me crazy. There is a Pizza Hut one with a rapping noodle that is really annoying.

Love the excerpt, Reg!

Regina Carlysle said...

Thanks ladies! OMG. I haven't seen the RAPPING NOODLE. Did you see the one for the 'listening device'??? Supposedly you can hear conversations from across the street or across a room. The young guy at the party hears women across the room talking about how "cute he is". GAG!

Someone just told me the snuggie wearers in the commercial look like CULTISTS. SNORT.

Anny Cook said...

Yeah, they do look like renegade monks, don't they?

Tess MacKall said...

To hell with the commercials, that damn excerpt just did ME in!

Good Lord woman. Can your husband even walk without a limp?

Genella deGrey said...

LOL, Tess!!!
Ditto!
:D
G.

Judith Leger said...

snickers! I told my son I was going to buy him a snuggie. I swear if looks could kill, I'd be raw meat. LOL!

I absolutely hate the Geico commercials. Oh, heck, any of the insurance commercials.

Love the excerpt. Oh, yeah!

Regina Carlysle said...

Glad you like the excerpts...snicker. It's a pretty hot book. Hope my family doesn't read it. YIKES. I'd never hear the end of it. lol.

Regina Carlysle said...

I'm soooo sick of the Geico commercials. There's one for Vonage with the woman in the orange shirt that is just stupid, too. Some of these with the Billy guy who screams just makes me cringe.

Regina Carlysle said...

Oh, Tess,darling. Sometimes he limps...lol

Judith Leger said...

Snickers.

Tess MacKall said...

Ha!!!! I knew it. RED HOT MAMA ALERT!!!!

Regina Carlysle said...

SNORT. Right. AS IF! My hot pink feather boa makes him sneeze. LOL

Greta said...

I forget which Insurance Commercial it is but the company where the people with the claims get "important people" to tell their story. Just annoys me.

Anyway - definitely visiting EC tomorrow.