Wednesday, May 6, 2009
We've all known those mean girls. You know the ones I'm talking about who decide they're better than everyone else and make it their life goal to torture you in high school. But you know what I've learned? Mean girls are just for high school any more. It's starting much, much younger nowadays and honestly, its not just children. It's adults too. WOMEN who should know better but either don't or don't care.
Last week I brought my girls to the park. My oldest is five and we just stepped foot into the park when two little girls started in on her. Well, let me rephrase that. It was primarily one little girl but the other was her shadow. You could tell that the second little girl only wanted to make the first little girl happy and even though you could see the discomfort in being a bully, she did it anyway. My daughter runs to one of the play sets excited to see little girls, tells them hi and tries to climb the ladder. The first little girl stands in her way so she can't get up. She grabs the second little girl and pulls her over so she's helping block the way from my daughter and then she tells my kid, "You can't come up. This is ours and we don't want to play with you." By then I'm getting hot. I turn and see two mothers gabbing away on the other side of the park paying NO attention to what their daughters are doing. As a mother, I struggled at first with letting my daughter try to take care of it or not, because the fact is, I can't always be there for her. When it comes to my kids, I can't stand by the wayside. So I tell the little girls that that my daughter can climb up, that what they're doing isn't nice, and that they need to move. They do but continued their little talking and whispering and tried a few more times to keep my daughter off certain toys at the park. Soon they realized I wasn't letting my eye off them and stopped. During the whole thing I'm sitting there thinking THEY'RE FIVE! I don't get it. I never would have even thought to do that at five. I just wouldn't have. I watched the "alpha girl" lead the other little girl around and I had flashes of them ten years from now walking around high school making the lives of other little girls who just aren't cool enough in their book, miserable.
So after this the thoughts started floating around in my head and I realized that now, at twenty-nine years old I know women like this too. It honestly breaks my heart. Let's be honest for a minute. As women we have a lot to overcome anyway. Our lives aren't easy. Why do we make it harder on each other? Why is there this competition when what we could really do is support each other and help bring one another up? I just don't get it. Even though I did have female friends in high school I had ten times more male friends and those friendships were easier. I LOVE the girlfriends I have, and the friendships I've kept over the years with them but nine times out of ten, I spent time with the guys because there just wasn't that drama.
Anyway, I could go on all day about this because it really, really bothers me, but I'll stop now before I bore the heck out of everyone. LOL. Do you have any mean girl experiences, as an adult or child? How do you handle it as a parent when it's directed at your child? My daughter starts Kindergarten in August and I'm just scared to death!