Thursday, September 10, 2009

managing it all

Lately it seems my life is just...out of my control. As if someone else is pulling the strings. I think it's a case of too many things happening all at once. With the girls back in school that always means my schedule is way busier and really chaotic. Driving them back and forth to school, while it doesn't seem like a big deal, can really suck away my writing time. Add in their after school functions and I'm in the car a lot.

Also, with the worry of my Dad's strokes and his impending surgery, I'm starting to feel as if my parents are no longer young and vibrant. Isn't it funny how we always see them as these stable, youthful people who can always take care of themselves? I'm seeing them differently lately and I don't know if it's like this for everyone, but it's strange to realize they aren't as sturdy as they once were.

To top it all off, I've got a WIP that's simply NOT writing itself. Each word is like pulling teeth. I hate when that happens. My stress level shoots way up and I start to feel as if my little writing well has gone dry. The worry keeps me awake at night. I'm dragging the next day and all I can see is the list of THINGS that I need to deal with. Chores and errands, and my WIP staring at me as if I'm the devil. Suddenly all I want to do is crawl under a rock and stay there for about a century.

So, my mind is in chaos. I exercise, which does help alleviate some of the stress, but it's sort of like using a net to scoop water out of a clogged sink. You can scoop and scoop and it's not going to do a damn bit of good. The water's still there and the clog is still holding strong.

My question...what do you do when you feel as if everything in your life is only half-finished. No matter how hard you work, no matter how many hours you put in, there's still no end in sight? Is organization the key? Maybe I'm not organized enough. I don't know. I try to tell myself that worrying doesn't help, but it's simply the way I'm built. I'm a worrier. Always have been. How do you get yourself to STOP stressing over things you simply cannot change/fix??


Regina Carlysle said...

Stop stressing? Hell, I thought that was a way of life! lol. If you figure it out, Anne, let me know. I've found the month before school starts and the month after are pretty crazy with kids settling in. Schedules are established, supplies need to be picked up and then added to. Even with my daughter off in college, we're finding there are loose ends to be dealt with.

I've actually had some problems sleeping lately because I can't turn my brain off with all the things going on.

Molly Daniels said...

I had the same problem last week...the words were simply NOT coming, and every word was yanked from my brain, kicking and screaming. Finally, I decided to focus on something else...and it's flowing well.

Maybe that would work for you, unless you're on deadline with it??


Kelley Nyrae said...

I wonder if its something in the air because I'm feeling the same way lately. It's killing me to pull out each and every word I write on my WIP. I'm not writing nearly enough as I need to be and then I get frustrated and end up hitting save and clicking the red X when I need to be toughing it out. I thought I would have more time when my little one started school but I was so wrong. Between driving, like you said, homework, sight words, and then after school stuff (tonight is family pajama night) it seems we're always doing something.

Bekki Lynn said...

What a relief! It must be in the air.

I've been writing some, stopping, doing something else, writing some more. Forcing myself to earn playtime. I can't say it's really helped, but it's better than doing no writing, which I've had bouts of lately.

It's made me feel like I'm losing it -- my muse moved out on me.