Thursday, April 29, 2010

introvert...table for one?










Okay, I confess, I'm shy. Painfully, awkwardly shy. I don't do parites with lots of people that I don't know. I don't attend conventions because the very thought sends me into a panic. I don't like to be the center of attention, ever. I stay, for the most part, inside my comfort zone. I think the one time I strayed was when I set up a book signing. But I had family that came with me and that helped quite a bit. If I had had to go alone I probably would've backed out or found some excuse.





So, what does an introver do when the RT convention is a mere hour from her house? She stays home and hides. LOL Yes, I know. So close and I'm not attending. Am I nuts?! Well, no, but I'm shy. VERY VERY shy. Did I say that already?





However, I did bite the bullet and agree to meet a few people at the hotel. One is my Wild Rose Press editor and another my Samhain cover artist. And since I've never met either of these people in person I'm nervous as hell. Already been thinking about what I'm going to wear. What I'm going to say. What if I act like an idiot or say something rude? See what I mean? Even one-on-one I'm nervous as hell.





I think most authors are introverts. It's not like I'm the only one who feels sick to her stomach when contemplating conventions and book signings. What I'm trying desperately to figure out is how do other authors do it? There are TONS of authors at the RT event right now. I know most of them are probably shy like me. So, how do they talk themselves into attending, when deep down they'd rather be at home, at their computer, writing??



And a few hunks, just, ya know, because. :)




13 comments:

Amber Skyze said...

I feel your pain. I'm the same shy person. I'm slowly coming out of my shell. I did attend one conference earlier this year. Didn't pitch - I was too scared! :)

Jake - but not the one said...

I might have difficulty pitching, but I love to talk to people, and writers? Don't they LOVE to talk about their stories? LOL! Just have to get them going!

Amanda Young said...

I can sympathize. My family loving refers to me as a hermit. I don't like being the center of attention and I choke when someone asks me about my work. However, I've found that if you can pal up with someone and help promote each other's work, rather than just your own, then it helps.

iamtherobyn said...

I think a lot of writers are introverts, I think it's easier for us to express ourselves through writing than speaking. I know I freeze up when someone asks me what my novel is about.

Anny Cook said...

Go and watch. You wouldn't believe the wonderful strangeness of it all. No one has to pitch anything. It's an opportunity, but hey, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. The househunk went with me...ended up sitting at a table with 20 women for lunch. When the waitress asked him how he managed that...he told her the ladies were his new harem.

Connie Northrop said...

I'm not as bad as you are. I can do crowds no problem. I don't like to be up in front of them but I can if I have to.

Regina Carlysle said...

Though I don't particularly like big crowds and I'd rather be shot than speak in public, I'm not all that shy. At RomantiCon in October, I was very nervous though. Still everyone was so warm and friendly all were put at ease. Even those who are painfully shy like you, Anne, were drawn into the fun. If you can find one or two really nice nice people to hang with though it really helps I think. Maybe making plans with a close friend in advance would be a good thing.

I've found that many writers are very introverted and shy.

Lissa said...

Are we twins? I think we are. I am not a big party person either. When Mari Freeman told me to just think about RT as a big party, well, aside from the cost of RT making me a little ill, the 'big party' comment just kind of pushed me over the edge of being very glad I didn't attend.

I go to the Lori Foster event and...that's almost too much for me. I'm content to sit in the corner and mind my own business. I don't talk to people well, I don't accept compliments well, I blush, I stammer...

I can sympathize and empathize. I too wonder 'What if I make a fool of myself?' 'What if I say the wrong thing?'

Last year at Lori Foster's event, Angela James put her flip video in front of me for an impromptu Q&A. I froze and backed up as quick as I could and just shook my head. There was no way in hell. Too shy. Too freaked out.

Now, the flip side of that is... I can go to a sporting event or a rock concert and be surrounded by all sorts of people and it doesn't phase me a bit.

Maybe I need professional help...

Cat Marsters/Kate Johnson said...

Alcohol. Alcohol helps.

Or is that just me?

Cherrie Lynn said...

Total introvert here. I've been to conferences and I *can* do crowds...but I'll be the dork in the corner not talking to anybody. Or the one standing at the edge of the group not contributing to the conversation. I am very, very uncomfortable around people I don't know. And I'm a writer who HATES talking about my stories. Even my family doesn't know what they're about unless they read them...and very few of them are allowed.

Marie-Nicole Ryan said...

I've been to RT once when it was in St. Louis. I only went to one party and none of the costume events. I had a good time talking to people I didn't know and meeting people I only knew from their online presence.

And yet if I'm in a large group, I'm the one listening and saying very little. I'm best at one on one or in a tiny group of two or three other people, but after that I literally fade into the background.

I've paid for RWA Nationals this summer since it's in freaking Nashville and I can't tell you how many times I've had buyer's remorse and considered getting my money back like I did when it was in Atlanta. I cannot imagine being in a group of 2000 people and having a good time.

Madison Scott said...

I can get that way some times too. You don't seem shy in person though. YOu'll do great and have fun!

Bekki Lynn said...

Oh, gosh, you so mirror me. I was just telling Koko Brown this the other day. I actually went as far as paying the fee for one, made the hotel reservation, then turned around and canceled.

Many who know me, don't understand how I can wait tables when I'm naturally like this. It's a performance -- somehow in that respect, I don't see me as the person waiting the tables, I'm able to put me aside.

Yet, somehow, I can't put on that same facade for an event such as conventions.

I'd be more apt to leave everyone to it, hide in my room, maybe head to a park or zoo, even a sports bar.