Friday, December 10, 2010

Christmas Mishaps


One Christmas, I decided to cook a whole turkey. For some reason, turkey legs give me the creeps, so to save myself shuddering, I always just bought a turkey crown. Anyway, off that bird went into the oven, dear little thing, legs and all, and I kept an eye on the clock for the cooking time. About halfway through, a nasty smell filtered throughout the house. Everyone kept asking everyone else if they’d used the toilet. Yeah, that kind of smell. No one had, and the smell kept coming. By the time the turkey was cooked, I opened the oven door and got a massive waft of “that smell”.
I took the turkey out and inspected it. It looked fine. It couldn’t have been out of date because it had been frozen, and I’d defrosted it and kept it in the fridge prior to cooking in the correct manner. After carving the breast, I turned the bird on its side to get at the leg meat. And heard a rustle. Odd, right?
It turned out, when I looked inside the cavity, that I’d cooked the bloody thing with the giblets inside—inside a plastic bag!!! The bag had been the nasty smell, and unfortunately, the plastic “smell” had transferred into the meat. You could taste it.
After that year, I returned to buying a crown, but this year we decided to go for a whole turkey again. And yes, family members have already reminded me to “Take the giblets out first, Mum!”
What Christmas mishaps have you had?

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31 comments:

ev said...

I think leaving the bag of giblets in has happened to many a new cook, myself included 30+ years ago. No one has to tell me any more since I only buy a turkey breast these days.

I have had cats eat my pies, dogs pull the tree down, someone (we never did find out which species) use the tree skirt for a puppy pad or litter box. I don't put one on and I don't put the presents under the tree either until that morning. One of the dogs loves to unwrap presents. And she is very neat about it too- not just ripping into the paper. She uses her nose and paws to gently take it apart.

Last year just at the end of dinner, my daughter had an asthma attack and we ended up in the ER. The rest of my husbands family went ahead and opened presents without us. Presents I spent a good deal of time and energy to buy and wrap. Pissed me off big time. More than any other incident.

Amber Skyze said...

I haven't had any cooking mishaps because we always go to a family members house for dinner, but I had a few hidden present mishaps.

Because our place didn't have a lot of space I'd hide presents all over until the big day. A few months after Christmas I was going through my daughter's closet and found the Easy Bake oven I'd bought her for Christmas, but never remembered to pull out of it's hiding spot.

After that I tried to keep them all in one spot.

Anny Cook said...

We had a fire in our furnace on Christmas Day...does that count?

Regina Carlysle said...

Boy does this ever bring back memories. I did the same thing the year I cooked my first turkey, Nat. This was well over 20 yrs ago and my family still teases me about it. Like Ev, we do turkey breasts these days. Mr. Reg smokes them for me. YUM and none of the 'plastic-y' taste.

LOL at Amber forgetting where she hid her presents. Reminds me of that scene from Nat'l Lampoons Christmas Vacation when he got stuck int he attic and found all the stuff.

Tess MacKall said...

I never leave the giblets in--those things are golden in our house. My granny taught me to make giblet gravy and my family would DIE if we didn't have it at Thanksgiving AND Christmas--the only times we have it.

But this Thanksgiving I'd just finished making a pan of that delicious gravy and turned it off, smiled, walked away---or rather tried to walk away--and it seemed that my apron, which was fitted on me kind of loosely, got caught on the pan handle and pulled it.

When it pulled on the handle, the pan slid sideways and the gravy came tumbling down all over the stove top, the front, the floor.

OMG...swear words galore. OMG...everyone came running. And OMG...more swear words galore. I thought my brother would pass out. This was not a good thing to have happen in our family. NOT AT ALL.

I started to cry. And then everyone came over and kept patting me and telling me it was okay--when it really wasn't. I knew that. The gravy and the dressing (both secret recipes) make our holiday dinners.

As it turned out, bro went into town and found some store open, bought some more giblets--had to ask the dude in the back to scrounge them up. And we waited an additional two hours for our lunch so I could clean up the mess and cook more gravy.

We were starving too. God what a mess. And I was so tired. I ate very little at lunch. But I pigged out that night. LOL

Tess MacKall said...

Oh Amber. I've got a bag hidden right now with two pricey bottles of perfume I can't find anywhere. I know I stuck it somewhere back in October, but simply can't find the bag.

desi said...

I have done the giblets thing before. But I never told anyone I did that. Well until now.

My mom did a mishap one year. She used to always wait until the last minute to wrap presents. One year we went to Christmas Eve at a neighbors and my mom drank way to much champagne. The next morning my sister and I were horrified santa never came and my parents did not buy us anything. My mom drug her hungover butt out of bed and took two laundry baskets and filled them up with our presents unwrapped and gave them to us. It ws probably the cleanest christmas we ever had.

Anne said...

I haven't really had any Christmas mishaps, but I too have had the turkey troubles. Once I left the giblets in (luckily it was a paper bag). I never cooked at home and raw meat disgusted me at first after I moved out. I still don't enjoy touching it and use a lot of round steak which involves less contact cutting away fat and stuff, but poultry grosses me out to this day unless it's boneless, skinless breats. The first turkey I made I ended up feeding to the cat because I just couldn't eat it remembering what it had been like raw. She, the cat, was in heaven! I still use tongs to take the gross bits out of the cavity.

Molly Daniels said...

LOL Amber, one year I started Christmas shopping in September, and hid presents all over our tiny apartment. And of course, when it came time to wrap, could only find half of it. Found the lost presents three months later, so when the family got together in June, I threw a pre-'Christmas in July' party and handed them out:)

Food mishap....we moved into our new home in September 1997, so my parents came to our house. The turkey and ham were accidentally left within reach of the dog, and while he couldn't pull it from the island, he HAD managed to LICK them! Nobody ate seconds after that.

C. Zampa said...

Ewwww.....Giblets!
Oh, man, I've heard of so many people doing that, so don;t feel bad! LOL.

If I'd ever cooked a turkey myself, I'm sure I would have done it, too!

Natalie Dae said...

Oh, bless you, Ev! But that dog, the way she opens presents. You've got to be amazed! Fab!

:o)

Natalie Dae said...

OMG Amber, you crazy woman! How on earth did you forget you bought that? Funny!

:o)

Natalie Dae said...

Oh my Lord, Anny. I think that counts as a massive mishap!

:o)

Natalie Dae said...

Ah, Reg, I think everyone must have done the giblets-in-the-bag thing. LMAO!

:o)

Natalie Dae said...

Awww, Tess! I'd have cried too. Never made giblet gravy, but when it's something special like that and it goes wrong... Just awww.

:o)

Natalie Dae said...

AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA @ Desi's tale. That has got to be the funniest thing ever. I "saw" everyone's faces when seeing no presents under the tree and again with the basket. Lord, that was hilarious. You made my day, so thanks!

:o)

Natalie Dae said...

Anne, I'm the same with poultry. It's because it still looks like the bird it was. Really just gross. The legs...God, they are just horrible.

:o)

Natalie Dae said...

Molly...I laughed very loudly at the dog licking the food and no seconds. So funny!

:o)

Natalie Dae said...

CZ. Giblets. I mean, they are so UGLY too!

:o)

wendy said...

I did the same thing except I left everything in there.I don't cook at all, I was never taught how to.When my ex asked me to put the turkey in the oven for him he didn't say that there was a neck and other nasty stuff in it to take out so I took it out of the refrigerator and put it in the oven like it was and after that I decided not to try and cook again everybody would starve if I did.That was my second disaster.

Anne Rainey said...

That's why I prefer to be part of the clean up crew. LOL

Jen B. said...

Oh boy, mishaps. I have put the wrong tag on gifts. Oops! Since I don't do the cooking for the holiday, no mishaps there. Whew! I have had lights blow at most inoportune times. Like, my sister is trying to sell her house at Christmas and 1/2 the tree goes out! Ugh!

joder said...

I think everyone has had the giblet incident happen to them. For my mom, her catastrophe involved baking kolaches--a danish-like creation. She was newly married and wanted to impress my dad so she thought that instead of baking a bunch of little kolaches for him, she'd make a few big ones. Unfortunately, she didn't realize that the dough needed rising before baking. Therefore, she put the kolaches in the oven and they kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger.....until the dough started seeping alongside the edges of the door frame of the stove. The smoke alarm started going off and smoke started billowing out of the oven too.

Needless to say, Dad was impressed, but not in the way Mom wanted.

joderjo402 AT gmail DOT com

Natalie Dae said...

Wendy...did you put it in the oven also in the original bag it comes in too!? OMG, if you did, that's too bloody funny!

:o)

Natalie Dae said...

You know, Anne, Hubby offered to cook this year. I said no, but now... LMAO

:o)

Natalie Dae said...

HAHAHAHAHA @ Jen putting the wrong tags on. That could be quite funny or really embarrassing!

:o)

Natalie Dae said...

ROFLMAO @ Joder's mum! Oh, bless the woman.

:O)

wendy said...

Yes I did, he said to put the turkey in the pan and cover with tenfold and put in oven and I did exactly as he said.Yes it was horrible and he didn't ask me to cook again.

Natalie Dae said...

Awww, bless your heart, Wendy.

:O)

flchen1 said...

Oh Natalie! I think I managed to avoid that, but mostly by having DH do the turkeys :) I did one year misplace an entire pound bag of cranberries, which I STILL haven't found. I have no idea where they could have disappeared off to... It isn't as if there was a cranberry fairy!?

Natalie Dae said...

Hahahahah @ cranberry fairy, flchen!

:o)