Monday, February 28, 2011

Curve Balls


You know how good intentions work, don’t you? And all about that road to Hell they pave so well, right? Meh…so what. I’m trying. Believe me I am. But it’s not working right now. I knew
this blog post needed to be up today. Had planned on tapping out something over the weekend and couldn’t. So here I am frantically working on it.

So what’s my problem? It’s like this: Into everyone’s life a little rain must fall. Fate sometimes throws us curve balls. And when it does, it doesn’t stop to consider the fall out. It’s just a mindless toss that comes your way and no matter how hard you try to get out of its way it keeps right on coming.

Fate doesn’t care if you’re old or young, skinny or fluffy, black or white, male or female. Religious belief doesn’t play into it one little bit. I was lying in bed last night thinking about Fate. Is it a woman? I kind of figure it is. I imagined her with long, flowing red hair and wearing a deep emerald gown that sparkled and shimmered in the light. Imagined her sitting atop a big white cloud in an oversize chaise and smiling to herself.

In her lap she had several balls. All of them glowing with some sort of magical power. She picked up the balls and started flinging them at random. Out into the stratosphere they went, landing where I did not know. When she had one ball left, she held it in the palm of her hand and blew on it. I could instantly hear her thoughts.

“Oh yes. This is my special sphere. I haven’t messed with my friend Tess in quite some time now. I think she’s gotten a bit too big for her britches. Time to take her down a notch or two. She’s always sooooo much fun to play with.” And then she winds up for the pitch and BAM…I get hit on the head with the damn ball.

So here I am, here and not really here, writing this post, picking up the pieces from the fall out and failing miserably. But I’ve wallowed in this mire of emotional quicksand long enough. My kids haven’t seen a home cooked meal in a couple of weeks. So tonight they will get one or I’m going to die trying. And I’ve decided to paint my son’s room. There is something about a clean coat of paint that just soothes me.

So while I’m not physically here online, I know there will be better days and I WILL be back and hopefully soon. To all of you whose emails have gone unanswered, I do apologize. To all of you I was supposed to do a quick looksee for or anything else I might have missed doing, I apologize. I’m not quite with it these days.

But I am getting there.

Hope everyone is happily reading and writing.

8 comments:

Madison Scott said...

I hope things get better for you soon.

Laurann Dohner said...

Hang in there! Life always loves to kick me and knock me on my butt. I have one twisted sense of humor now. Always a bright side. Things WILL get better. Have fun painting the room.

C. Zampa said...

Well, prayers and hugs and good vibes, Tess.
We miss you!

wendy said...

Hang in there it will gets better for you.

Zina said...

Welcome to my world...I'm proof that what doesn't kill you could make you stronger so hang in there and hang on. Hopefully it will get better.
Zina

Harlie Reader said...

Things will get better soon. I have spells like that and they suck but you will come out a better person for it.

Miss you! Take care and talk to you soon!

Jen B. said...

My life went PTTTFFF in October. I keep picking myself up and life keeps going PTTTFFF! I hope that fate stops throwing you curve balls. It sucks when it happens but you will make it through.

Anne Rainey said...

I'm not quite wiith it either. So, I feel ya.

Hope things settle down soon!