Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Romance writers wreck homes, promote adultery, & cause weight gain!
Okay before you start reading my brillant, witty & thought provoking blog for this week. PLEASE do me a HUGE favor. (Hush Regina!) I need friends on FB or else I'll never live the shame down. Brenna Zinn is taunting me, in a not nice or playful way. You don't have to talk to me or acknowledge me in anyway but as a FB friend. PLEASE!! If you've ever enjoyed my rambling blogs, my books, or my scintillating personality then please click the link below & save me from public humiliation. Or at least more humiliation than normal.
Now onto this week's real blog!!
Yes, you read right. As a romance writer I'm the cause of all your problems. Yes, fluffy butt quirky ole me, is responsible for the neighbor's dog pooping on your lawn, the flat tire you had in the rain, rising utility cost & the fact your boobs are starting to sag.
Okay, maybe not all that, but according to 'learned' psychologist romance novels MAKE women have unprotected sex so they'll be swept away by passion. Or somehow through mystical vibes I convince these same educated independent women to forgo protection after only a short time in the relationship.
I don't know about other writers...actually I do & all my characters and theirs use protection: No glove, no love! Yep, I have the power so beware you don’t tick me off or else I’ll have you rubbing dirty dime store lamps looking for a genie.
-We're also being accused of leading woman to search for more and deeper meaning in their lives and relationships.
Well, damn who knew I had that much power. Hmm, I'll take on world peace & that little chocolate=weight gain problem next. Really, what's the problem with people growing and expanding their horizons? Ignorance equals fear, which always leads to prejudice or more honestly plain stupidity.
-Next up in the line-up: Romance novels give women grandiose ideas of love.
And??? What the heck is wrong with that? Love is supposed to be amazing, frustrating, fun, scary & everything else under the sun. If it weren’t then the romance industry wouldn't sell billions of dollars of books every year. The music industry would crash, theatre owners would go bankrupt, & we won’t get started on the salon and lingerie business. Really would you wax there if there weren’t a man to love in your picture?
-Romance writers lead readers away from reality.
Again I say...AND? What part of fiction is so hard for shrinks to understand? It's not real! It’s a fresh break from a reality filled with a demanding job, demanding kids, demanding spouses, friends, housework, family and the little things that make up our daily lives.
-Romance novels make readers believe in myths and fairytales.
Umm, yeah this is a two-part problem as I see. One because (see above) there is nothing wrong with having an imagination and using it. Keeps life interesting and opens your mind. Part two when I go for a walk at night I don't expect to be attacked by hungry vampires, horny shifters, escaped demons, glittering fae princes or smart-ass demi-gods. I've never had a reader tell me they do either.
-Given the perspective of shrinks our readers should be dressed in fairy princess gowns, Zena warrior leather or some space pirate/princess babe. Able to eat whatever they want without gaining an ounce, never lose their cool while being shot at, bombs exploding or held prisoner by evil henchmen determined to take over the world. In this mindset our readers would also have psychic powers, incredible perky breasts that never sagged & the power to orgasm at the touch of a finger. Also in these good doctors opinions my readers should be trapping wolves while trying to get them to change & bite them. Or hanging around cemeteries waiting for the dead love of their soon to be immortal lives to rise. Better yet romance readers would be forever hiding in their homes, away from life terrified the serial killer, who for some reason focused solely on her, would kill her. ‘Cause it’s such a close possibility, right?
The Truth According to This Writer
My readers are intelligent women and men who know the difference between a reality created to entertain them and reality that involves picking up dog poop & forgetting to flush the toilet. Blaming romance writers for unplanned pregnancies, rising STDs, adultery and divorce is ridiculous and childish. No one can make someone do anything without his or her permission.
My take on this insane psychological study? It’s crap, an easy convenient excuse to shove the blame, guilt and responsibility anywhere, but where it belongs. On the adults in charge of their own actions.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to jump into the deepest part of the Atlantic Ocean because I read that’s where all Poseidon’s demi-god sons hang out. And I want me some of that immortal hotness.