Today has not been my favorite of days. And when I say "today", I mean in the old school, Pentecostal, Sunday-starts-at-sundown-on-Saturday-or-you-go-cut-me-a-switch-boy! kind of way. Last night, as I chatted amiably on Mr. Bell's machine to my dear friend Bronwyn Green, I, laughing, lifted a cup of water to take a drink. Forgetting that I suffer from a totally-not-made-up ailment called "Alien Hand Syndrome", I threw the contents of that cup not in my mouth, but directly onto my laptop keyboard. No amount of upside-downness or hair-dryertude could save my Macbook Pro from becoming a fourteen-hundred dollar paperweight. I briefly considered this a sign from God to end my writing career, until my husband pointed out that it was only a sign that I'm supremely clumsy.
This morning, I woke with the hopes that the keyboard would have miraculously dried, and the files I had failed to back up because I'm full-time awesome would again be accessible. Not so; I did, however, find the Alphasmart 3000 a useful tool after all, as it emulated my keyboard and allowed me to log in to retrieve my files. Glad that fire was put out! Rest of the day should be super!
Unfortunately, while I dealt with the very real possibility of writing ebooks in longhand (and laughing all the while I contemplated that, I assure you), some dickless piece of shit (I can say that on here, right?) hacked my World of Warcraft account, sold my gold and got my account banned. With no computer to rectify the situation, I was helpless to watch warning after warning flood my phone's email application- I couldn't answer them, as my outgoing mail server suddenly no longer recognized my phone's protocols. This led me to believe that there is some sort of force and order in the universe, and it hates me and wants me to die from confusion and horror. A dear, but conservative, family member of mine is fighting with some of my readers on my facebook page, and the conversation has reached over a hundred heated comments, all about abortion. Or something. I stopped reading. My husband is spending his day off sick. The house, which was clean yesterday, is in utter ruin because, as I said, my husband has the day off. Everything is perfectly, utterly horrid.
Now, I could look at all of this and say poor me. But I did not. I took the day off. I took the day off, played MarioKart, watched Malcolm in The Middle, and lived my life as though I had never heard of computers. And when I remembered that I had to do this blog, I briefly considered doing it in longhand, just for gits and shiggles. I will survive. Because tomorrow cannot possibly be as comically strange as this one has been.
My mood has been greatly helped by two fantastic reviews from the Guilty Indulgence Book Club. And the fact that I managed to somehow c/p that link without too much trouble, even though I'm using a Windows machine for the first time since 2005 and it is throwing me for a mighty loop, I can tell you that for free.