Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Relating to characters of the opposite sex

Don't you just love it when you find out something new about yourself? It's like it thumbs you on the head and you wonder how you never noticed it before. LOL. I had one of those "duh" moments lately. I got a really good review for my erotic work which I write under the name, Madison Scott
The reviewer mentioned that she thought I really got it when it came to the way a man feels about love and sex. That came as a little bit of a shock to me. I mean, I've always hoped that I got into a mans head well. I struggle with it and work hard on it but I was never sure if I did a good job with it or not.

A couple days later I was reading a book. One of my really good friends was reading it at the same time as me. While I'm reading along, the heroine is really pissing me off. Did I realize that the hero had screwed up a few times too? Yep. Did he make me mad? Yep to that too but for some reason I kind of "got" where he was coming from. It's weird because it wasn't as if I didn't "get" where she was coming from to a degree as well but I felt like her mistakes were bigger than his and I automatically sympathized with him more.

When my friend caught up with me, we started talking about the book and I was shocked to realize she sympathized with the heroine more. In my crazy little mind, the heroine was completely wrong but the way my friend saw it, she wasn't. Like I always tend to do, I started over thinking things. LOL. I tend to have a little problem with that. Believe me, I KNOW this sounds crazy but I started feeling a little guilty. We're women, we should stick together, right? Why was it easier for me to forgive HIS mistakes over HERS? Were hers really worse or do I expect more from her because she's a woman? Do I expect her to know better and give the guy more leeway because he's a guy? I hope not. I don't know. I can tell you one thing though, it's going to be in the back of my head when I'm reading from now on. LOL. Like I said, over thinker here. I'm curious if this was a one time thing or if it's something I always do. I do know that when I read a book, I have to like the heroine but I have to fall in love with the hero. Maybe that's part of what this is. I don't know.

So, am I crazy (don't answer that, lol)? Do you tend to sympathize more often with either the hero or the heroine in a book?


danyelle09 said...

Yes your crazy!! Ha Ha! Just playin.
I always sympathize with the female. I tend to be more judgemental on the guy because guys are dogs and man whores and can be the biggest youknowwhats in the planet. I have to say though in the guys defense if the female is an overly whiney pain in the ass he has full reign to be a douchbag!

Regina Carlysle said...

Actually, I understand exactly where you are coming from, Kell because I'm the same way. I write male POV much better than female. I don't know if it's because I sometimes THINK like a man or what. I know other authors who prefer writing the female POV and a few rare writers who prefer male. Maybe you are one of those, like me, who GETS how a guy looks at things.

There's nothing wrong with that and doesn't mean you are "anti woman" lol but you are in-tune with how men look at things. NOt a bad thing at all.

Katie Reus said...

As a general rule, I sympathize a lot more with the heroine, even if I understand where the hero is coming from. Men can be dogs and if he's portraying that, then yeah, I'll have the woman's back more often than not. Of course if she's whiny and annoying and unforgiving then I sympathize with him b/c I feel bad that he's with her ;) Okay, I'm looking at my answer and I guess it depends on the story, lol.

Liane Gentry Skye said...

I love me some heroes. Maybe it's because I've always been more comfortable around men than other women. They just make more sense to me! Must have been one in a past life!

Kelley Nyrae said...


There are times I symapthize with the female but I seem to lean more toward the man.

Kelley Nyrae said...

Glad I'm not the only one. The ting is, even when I was younger I always had more male friends then famale. Like you said, I'm not anti-woman at all but it just seems I just relate to the male mind better for some reason.

Kelley Nyrae said...

Yes! I does depend on the story too. That is very true.

Kelley Nyrae said...

Love me some men too!

Connie Northrop said...

Crazy is fun!

I think it varies by story most of the time for me but I'm betting that you spent a lot of time trying to figure out how a guy thinks at some time in your life. Maybe for writing, maybe a relationship, but I bet it's happened and was important to you. Once you get the idea of how they think it's easier to feel sympathy for them because they just don't get us!
Yep, I think too much as well. LOL

Anne Rainey said...

I can relate to the male rather than the female SO much easier. Maybe because I grew up surrounded my men. 3 brothers, 5 uncles and all the male friends that come with them. I tended to have male friends even.

The best book to me is when the female can equal the male. Not an annoying independant ass kicker, but just strong enough to handle the hero and not let him walk all over her. Most of Nalini Singh's books have great heroes and heroines. It's the first time I've ever enjoyed reading the female pov as much as the males's.

Kelley Nyrae said...

YES, crazy is fun!

Wow you did grow up around a lot of men. I didn't. After My parents divorced when I was five it was only me, my mom and sister. No brothers for me. Like I said, when I started getting friends though, most of them were male.

Anonymous said...

The reality of all things when it comes to the opposite sex be that of the male , female no one person really knows what is going on in anyones head with thoughts or any other thing including with feelings , othe emotions unless the person who ever it may be tells you or ther other person other then that all we can do is speculate thus we can not go too over that or it will be as a judgmental thing , that is not a positive thing at all no matter what anyone says its a sin.
So no matter who says they know the gender be that again of the female or male gender no one really knows at all the only one that knows is Heavenly Father , Our Savior other then that no one really knows at all even if they try to convence the person or people that they do when in all reality they do not, with that said it is true , fact , reality, not only because each person both male , female are different in many ways so many ways that it would take more then a life time to gather all of what each , every one of the things are so never take a persons word on if they claim or say , try to prove that they know the opposite sex, note it does not matter how many classess you take on the sujects that go in to that topic / matter etc...
Thank you , I hope that you all had a very fun , joyfull fourth of july , Know that Heavenly Father , our Savior Loves you all.