When I woke up this morning I had this odd sensation of being overwhelmed and it's my own damn fault. I've just realized I'm a "yes" girl. You'd think by the time a person reaches a certain age they'd figure out how to say NO sometimes but I guess that's not in my vocabulary.
So now that you're wondering what the hell I'm talking, I'll fill you in. On Wednesday I read an author interview on a friends blog and something just hit me. This author mentioned having those little bits of ideas and turning them into a story despite not really LOVING it. She is longing to always write the story of her heart. This comment stuck in my head and I've been giving much thought to it this week. I wondered why I am currently struggling with some of my stuff and I've come to the conclusion that I'm not in love with my stories. Because of that, I hesitate, I procrastinate, and plod along like an old donkey out furrowing a field somewhere. Everything I write takes forever and things just aren't flowing as they should. I've had the pleasure of writing books that moved so fast and I loved every minute of watching the story speed toward completion. You know what I mean...that book that practically wrote itself. That hasn't happened to me in a long time and I miss it.
Now back to the YES thing. At the moment I'm committed to a number of multi author series. Excited to be part of the projects but, in the meantime, my own story ideas are pulling at me. I can't write them until I have completed the other books. Now I'm wondering when I'll EVER get back to my own series. It's frustrating but I've done this myself. I've YESSED myself into a corner and won't break free until I gather up some enthusiasm from somewhere deep inside of myself and get the stories finished. Lately, I'm figuring that I'd better learn how to say no.