When I woke up this morning I had this odd sensation of being overwhelmed and it's my own damn fault. I've just realized I'm a "yes" girl. You'd think by the time a person reaches a certain age they'd figure out how to say NO sometimes but I guess that's not in my vocabulary.So now that you're wondering what the hell I'm talking, I'll fill you in. On Wednesday I read an author interview on a friends blog and something just hit me. This author mentioned having those little bits of ideas and turning them into a story despite not really LOVING it. She is longing to always write the story of her heart. This comment stuck in my head and I've been giving much thought to it this week. I wondered why I am currently struggling with some of my stuff and I've come to the conclusion that I'm not in love with my stories. Because of that, I hesitate, I procrastinate, and plod along like an old donkey out furrowing a field somewhere. Everything I write takes forever and things just aren't flowing as they should. I've had the pleasure of writing books that moved so fast and I loved every minute of watching the story speed toward completion. You know what I mean...that book that practically wrote itself. That hasn't happened to me in a long time and I miss it.
Now back to the YES thing. At the moment I'm committed to a number of multi author series. Excited to be part of the projects but, in the meantime, my own story ideas are pulling at me. I can't write them until I have completed the other books. Now I'm wondering when I'll EVER get back to my own series. It's frustrating but I've done this myself. I've YESSED myself into a corner and won't break free until I gather up some enthusiasm from somewhere deep inside of myself and get the stories finished. Lately, I'm figuring that I'd better learn how to say no.
9 comments:
I miss those days too. None of my current wips are yelling at me to finish at the moment.
MY problem is sitting on my couch, waiting to return to work, lol:) Also, saying yes to other people when I should insist my own work is important too.
You and I should talk. I'm in the exact same place. I'm struggling to finish a story I obligated myself to write and I am just not feeling it. Fortunately, the deadline is a ways off, but still...
Plus, I have had a ton of extraneous stuff on my mind and in my life. I feel you, girl. When I write a story that does come from my heart, I can barely tear myself away from my laptop for a potty break!
I feel your pain!! Boy do I feel it! I'm finishing my current wip and it's the last thing I'm obligated to write. BUT I'm already being tugged at to get the proposal for the next in this series written up and I find myself wishing I could just go at my own pace and write what I WANT to write.
When did this thing turn into a job? LOL
You're right. This is turning into a HAVE TO instead of a WANT TO. My deadlines are looming really really close and panic is looming, I swear. It's kinda freaking me out. Writing was a FUN thing for me and suddenly it's like agony. siiiigh. I'm very frustrated.
What was I thinkin'? I ask myself a couple times a week.
I said yes to challenge myself with a word count I find hard to do. Genre's I've never written.
I've made the deadlines, learned I can do anything I set out to do.
And when my work screams, I scream back. I want to get back to them, and will with a refreshed eye and thought. Who knows, maybe what I've been learning will enhance their story.
Not sure I'm really convinced of that, but holds me.
It's hard when it starts turning into a have to instead of a want to. I'm finishing up my last contracted story right now and then I can write anything I want. But on the other hand, then I will start stressing about finding a home for it! With my have tos, I know where they're going.
I loved both my WIPs when I started them but right now they're not "speaking" to me and it's very frustrating! I miss being so passionate about a story that I can't think about anything else.
Ohhhh Tessie. I so feel your pain about this. I'm struggling with it too.
I took the summer off. Thought a lot about my writing and where I went wrong. Interesting thing? The books that got the most raves (even if they didn't sell) were the books I was involved in--the books I loved writing.
Something to think about.
It isn't capability. It's love that counts in writing.
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