Thursday, August 18, 2011
Pass the duct tape, Mia's talking again.
Things uttered at conference that I probably should have thought harder about...
1. "I'm full of dick!" Yes, I said it. In my defense, I was on a panel entitled, "You don't know dick." As one of the women on the panel, I introduced myself with the disclaimer that I since I don't HAVE the man parts, I might not be able to discuss dick appropriately. By the end of the panel, one of the audience members said, "See, Mia? You DO know dick!" and I said, "Yes! I do! I'm FULL of dick!"
2. "Anyone wanna go down?" I shouted at the top of my lungs, arms flung wide. Yep, that's right. But there were four elevators and the wait time for one of them was incredibly long. So there were about ten people waiting for a car, when one became available. The lesson I learned? Going down means something all together different in a group of romance writers. On the bright side, the sexy tattoo artist with the kilt thought that going down was a great idea. So did the 21 year old newb writer who shadowed me all weekend. I declined the kind offers.
3. "I'll stand here, unless you want to jump me." Again with the elevators. They were filled and I was at the front of the car. I got out on a floor and a guy from the back (not a writer) said, "No, this is MY floor." And I said, "I know. I'll stand here, unless you want to jump me." *sigh* The writers in the group laughed. The biker guy I was talking to, actually blushed.
4. "America. WHAT HAPPENED to you? I'm so sorry." Said in my sleep with great disgust and inflection, according to my roommate, Bronwyn Green. I still don't know what I was dreaming, or what the heck I did that destroyed America. Apparently, I am plague.
There were other things. I say a lot without always thinking first. However, I'm told that's part of my charm. If you ask me, it's a trait I'd love to take a pass on. I provide a public service. I'm the one you want around so that people laugh at me, instead of you. You're welcome.