Thursday, August 18, 2011

Pass the duct tape, Mia's talking again.

HEY! Shout out to Jen B. who came to the Authors After Dark book signing and found me. What an awesome thing to meet one of our blog regulars.

Things uttered at conference that I probably should have thought harder about...

1. "I'm full of dick!" Yes, I said it. In my defense, I was on a panel entitled, "You don't know dick." As one of the women on the panel, I introduced myself with the disclaimer that I since I don't HAVE the man parts, I might not be able to discuss dick appropriately. By the end of the panel, one of the audience members said, "See, Mia? You DO know dick!" and I said, "Yes! I do! I'm FULL of dick!"

2. "Anyone wanna go down?" I shouted at the top of my lungs, arms flung wide. Yep, that's right. But there were four elevators and the wait time for one of them was incredibly long. So there were about ten people waiting for a car, when one became available. The lesson I learned? Going down means something all together different in a group of romance writers. On the bright side, the sexy tattoo artist with the kilt thought that going down was a great idea. So did the 21 year old newb writer who shadowed me all weekend. I declined the kind offers.

3. "I'll stand here, unless you want to jump me." Again with the elevators. They were filled and I was at the front of the car. I got out on a floor and a guy from the back (not a writer) said, "No, this is MY floor." And I said, "I know. I'll stand here, unless you want to jump me." *sigh* The writers in the group laughed. The biker guy I was talking to, actually blushed.

4. "America. WHAT HAPPENED to you? I'm so sorry." Said in my sleep with great disgust and inflection, according to my roommate, Bronwyn Green. I still don't know what I was dreaming, or what the heck I did that destroyed America. Apparently, I am plague.

There were other things. I say a lot without always thinking first. However, I'm told that's part of my charm. If you ask me, it's a trait I'd love to take a pass on. I provide a public service. I'm the one you want around so that people laugh at me, instead of you. You're welcome.

14 comments:

Jen B. said...

Thanks for the shout out. It was great meeting you. I missed all of those wonderful embarassing moments. The good news is, everyone at the conference would give a round of applause for any of those statements!

Phuong said...

OMG...hilarious, Mia! All those comments do mean different things to romance writers & readers, don't they? Maybe because our minds are a bit (ok, alot) dirtier than most?! LOL

Harlie Reader said...

Missed you. Glad you had fun at the conference. Your comments are priceless and yes, context is everything. LOL!

June M. said...

OMG...too funny! Thank you so much for sharing! Don't you just love those wonderful little things that we do in life that bring joy and laughter to others? Hold your head high, and so "Yeah, that's what I said"

I agree with Phuong, maybe are minds are somewhat (EXTREMELY) dirtier than most.

Amber Skyze said...

LMAO I'm sure you kept your friends entertained during the conference.

Elece said...

LMAO!!! I love it!! Thanks for the laugh! (even if it was at your expense :0D)! Maybe you'd let me borrow some of that duck tape? The one thing I said that no one will let me live down...I was crouched down putting something away and looked up at my male client, "Give me a sec, and I'll blow you." I'm a hairstylist, and everyone there knew what I meant, but still...LOL! :0)))

Mia Watts said...

@Jen B, LOL, I owned every one of those statements. :) It was great meeting you too!

Mia Watts said...

@Phuong, Yep, our minds just always manage to "go there". I'm constantly accused of doing it on purpose. Now you all know my secret. Most of my "awkward" is completely innocent in delivery.

Mia Watts said...

@Harlie, I had a blast at AAD. I definitely want to go back again next year.

Mia Watts said...

@June M, You're welcome! I'm happy to share my faux pas with the world if for no other reason than to prove that we all have those moments. Besides, if you can't laugh at yourself, you're missing most of the fun.

Mia Watts said...

@Amber, or drove them completely crazy. They were probably thinking, "That girl talks constantly and she can't even shut up to sleep." ;)

Mia Watts said...

@Elece, OMG!!! That's the topper right there! I bow down to your verbal diarrhea. LOL!

Tess MacKall said...

LMAO...crazy woman!!!

Mia Watts said...

@Tess, I'm a walking circus. Really.