Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Taboos: are there any left in the romance world?
Don't ask where I came up with the question. Let's just say once the question popped in my head I couldn't get it to leave. Kind of like that Gummy Bear song that almost drove me mad.
I know there used to be taboos against interracial romance and gay romance. I'm not saying these are the big bad and horrible, it's not that. I'm trying to undertand what the general public consider taboo?
Most books have labels such a M/F or M/F/M or M/M or F/F/M or M/M/F or party of six or more. For those of you already lost I'll explain.
M/F= male in sexual contact with one female
M/F/M= Two males with the female in the middle, no real sexual contact between the two males
M/M= male on male romance & sex.
M/M/F= two men in sexual contact with each other and a woman
F/F/M= two females in sexual contact with each other and a man
Party of ? or more= orgy in which everyone's pretty much touching everyone else's happy place.
I'm sure there's other categories I've missed. People might even get upset at the way I explain the abbreviations. Sorry about that but it's the simplest way I know how to put it. Don't get angry & start hate mail. The royal guards can't stand doing mail duty. Takes away from guarding my ladies in waiting, naughty minxes that they are :) Something about those kilts, accents & sexy legs....yummy!
Ummm where was I?? Oh yeah about to jump my guards....
& I'm back...whew
For me it's one night stands. I can't write them and leave it at that. I know writers who did and it turns out amazing. Me, no can do. One night a relationship does not make. In Naughty Nature I fought with myself to justify the emotions and connection between Aria & Mac. In the end the very nature of their sexual relationship broke down the normal girl/boy boundaries. Stripping away the artificial masks all of us wear in our day to day lives leaves you open to another person. This is how I knew it could and would work in Naughty Nature. When Aria dropped her walls, gave Mac control she was showing him exactly who she was at the most basic level. Or at that's what I believe and it's something I had to trust in order to write that particular story.
Every publisher I'm familiar with has strick taboos on sex with animals, golden showers, incest & under age sex. However things have changed as far as rape goes. Some houses are more open to it in certain conditions, as in rape fantasies. Now I'm not one to condem anyone's Naughty Nature, but for me it's going too far. I will never write rape, playing or not. If some writers choose to do so that's a personal decision and I will not fault them for it.
Some people consider BDSM wrong, sinful or dirty. I might have been one of those if friends hadn't taken me aside to explain the reality of the power exchange. Other people will tell me I'll burn in hell for writing about demons, demi-gods, leprechauns and the like. Not much I can do about that except pity them for missing out on some really great stories :)
Another hush hush would be fur play. The act of dressing in costumes of what I consider stuffed animals, teddy bears, dogs, cats, birds, that kind of thing. I may be wrong, in no way am I saying I have a clue about this lifestyle. My moto has always been "over 21 & consenting".
Some people consider dressing & living like ponies to be erotic and sensual. Again I don't understand it, but it fulfills a matching need between 'pony' & 'trainer' then okay. Still I draw the line at eating oats from a bucket. I'm more of a lobster in candlelight kind a princess.
Other people find it erotic to make love to inanimate objects such as cars, dolls, or guns. I don't get it, but is it taboo? What about the older/younger relationship didn't it used to be something we never talked about if the woman was older? Now there are television shows dedicated to the subject. We've got writers with series about cougars and their men. Women are proud to land a young hottie.
Fantasy is great. It's amazing and can enrich our sex lives in many and various ways, but at what cost? When did it become not enough to have two people in love joining their bodies together to celebrate and express those emotions? Or am I the only one to think we're losing sight of the meaning behind romance regardless of the gender involved?
What's the last barrier we're willing to accept? What line in the sand have we moved closer and closer to?
Remember no throwing tomatoes, only nice shiny sparkly objects are allowed. Anyone caught violating this royal decree will be sentenced to the frog pits. It's a horror I'd wish on no one so please behave!!
Until next week!
PS: I'm in another contest mood. Leave a comment & I'll pick a winner or two at random. Check my FB page for the winner's names.