Thursday, September 18, 2008

people of color

It's so hilarious to me how people react to something out of the norm. My daughter and I went shopping the other day for her birthday. Spent the day at the mall, had lunch at Max & Ermas. It was a lovely day all in all. But, I always crack up at the reaction Kati gets to her hair color. She has bright pink bangs. I think it's darling and I love that she's not afraid to express her own individuality. But, she does get some wild looks.

Sometimes she even gets nasty comments from the other kids at school. Does that make her want to change her hair back to its normal color? Nope. She likes the pink and that's that. Don't you love it? A kid who doesn't give in to peer pressure. It's what every mom dreams of, right? However, I've gotten some serious shit from other mothers who just don't understand why I let her do that to her hair. Even family members. Hello! Get a clue! She's 15 and just feeling her way around in this crazy world. I see no problem with that. In fact, I think its great that she doesn't let others narrowmindedness alter her personality. The girl loves pink. Hell, she loves color! I think that's wonderful.

I feel the same about my youngest daughter. She hates pink. She'd rather wear her favorite team jersey any day of the week. It's a pleasure to have two kids with such unique taste. I wouldn't want to change them, not for anything. Why do people have such a problem with differences? Can't we be more tolerant? Haven't we learned anything over the years? The world is changing. All I have to say to those who judge others is this: you'd better catch up!

Now for a few pictures of my crazy kids. Yes, they keep me hopping and thank God too!
Kati's new eyeshadow. We found lots of colors the other day and she was in heaven!

Kati's pink hair. She had one boyfriend who hated it. Needless to say, he didn't last long. LOL!

Alisha...expressing herself, lol.

Last but not least, Alisha duct taped to a chair. And yes, she asked to be duct taped. Don't worry she duct taped Kati next. I have to tell you, I sent this picture to their grandparents and my dad had a cow. "duct taped is expensive!' LOL He doesn't understand that in the grand scheme of things, duct tape is actually fairly cheap. He should check out some of those Wii games! Now that's an expensive way to entertain yourself!


Laura J. said...

I wonder about people who make comments about such trivial things as hair color. There are so many other things kids can be doing that is much worse than coloring your hair pink.

I think those that make comments need to take a closer look at their own kids because, while this is just my observation, I think they would be shocked at some of the things their kids are doing (sex, sex without protection, drugs, stealing, etc). Then are surprised when their "perfect" children are arrested for drunk driving and killing a fellow student (that happenend here recently and it wasn't the first time she had been in trouble for underage drinking, but the parents bailed her out everytime and even this latest incident she pretty much got away with just a slap on the wrist).

I love your daughter's hair (hey I'm a fan of pink myself). You all seem to have a very good relationship and I would be willing to bet they both talk to you about everything (for the most part).

joyroett said...


Cool hair and eyeshadow! I love the duct tape pic. That hilarious.

I say live and let live.


Anne Rainey said...

H Laura,

Going on my soapbox for a sec. LOL

It's so crazy to me when these same parents look down their noses at me for allowing kati to have the pink hair and have a boyfriend. I've had to bite my tongue many times because I happen to know just about every one of their sweet little innocent daughters not only have boyfriends but have had sex already! I can't reveal what I know, because these things were told to me in confidence. But hearing them belittle me...yeah, it gets tough to stay quiet sometimes.

Hell, half of them don't even know they're precious children have myspace pages. Some of them have multiple myspace accounts even. They have one that mom and dad sees, then another that their friends see.

I'm not going to raise everyone's kids though. I happen to believe that it's up to the parents to know what their kids are doing. Get involved with their life. Ask questions. Get to know their friends. Find a common interest with your kids and nurture that. For me and Kati it's books. We both love to read. That sort of thing brings us closer. With Alisha it's sports. She and I both love to watch football.

I'm not going to attempt to judge others, but I do wish they'd stop judging me!

Molly Daniels said...

I was one of those non-conformist kids in jr high and was so ridiculed, I 'sort of' conformed in HS and college.

I applaud both of my teens for having the courage to stand alone and be what they want to be at a much earlier age than their mom! My son acts crazy at times, but he has good friends and is a good kid.

Daughter hates anything remotely feminine, and is the 'voice of reason' within her boy-crazy group of friends.

Dana Marie Bell said...

Heh. I love the pink bangs and the funky eyeshadow!

I was the kid who wore all black, dyed her hair black, black makeup, bright red lips... you get the picture. My mom used to call me a "Goth beatnik", because my clothes were girly (and black), but my styling choices were, well, black. And my mom's main comments were "I wish you'd wear more color" and "That black doesn't go with that black. Go change."

But she never forced me to try and be different than what I was. Even when I dyed my hair fuschia recently, she defended me to the rest of my family. So for us, when we were teens, it was nice to have a mother who stood behind you even when she didn't like your style.

I can't wait until the first time one of my boys tells me they want to dye their hair or wear something fun!

Desirée Lee said...

I love her hair and eye shadow! I wish I'd had people around me who were so accepting of my desire to explore my individuality when I was her age.

For the record, I had lavender hair for a short while when I was 11 or 12. I've since experimented with a few different shades of hair color, but lavender by far was the most non-natural one I tried.

The duct taped pic is hilarious. It's obvious she wasn't upset by it. The kids were having fun and you can buy a roll of duct tape at the dollar store!

Carpe Noctem,

Desirée Lee
Putting the Romance Back in Necromancy

Anny Cook said...

My rule was that they could try anything that wasn't permanent. (No tattos), but we had pierced ears (both boys and girls), colored hair, permed hair... Heh. They grew up. The boy with the LONG blonde (colored and permed) hair with two pierced ears went into the Navy. Oh, yeah, he also had a full beard and mustache. Looked like a beatnik.

Then he spent 8 years in the Navy. We looked at the pics not long ago and laughed and laughed. He asked me, "Mom, what were you thinking?"

Kelley Nyrae said...

Love that you let your children by who they are. That's so important. There are so many things to worry about and pink hair isn't one of them. Because you give your daughters that respect they'll talk to you, you'll have a better relationship with them because of it.

Anne Rainey said...

Molly--I think being a mother is the hardest job, isn't it? You need to learn when to say when. It's not easy to know where to draw the line. But, as long as we're open and honest they'll feel comfortable being the same way. You clearly have that type of relationship with your kids. Maybe because of your own experience you knew and could relate to them better. Congrats! :)

Anne Rainey said...

Dana Marie--I will say that I wish Kati had her natural color. It's so pretty. But I love that she likes to play around and change her look to suit her mood. You're only a teenager once, might as well enjoy it! :)

Des--My daughter would love to see pix of your hair from back then. Her friend wants lavender hair. She's trying to talk her mom into letting her do it. I figure why not? One of these days they'll be all grown up and they'll be forced to work in some office. They'll have to conform then. For now, they can go a little wild with their looks. :)

Also, Kati buys the hair color with her own allowance. For me it's proof how important it is to her that she's willing to work for her pink hair.

Molly Daniels said...

That reminds me...when daughter was 4, she went to a Mother's Day Out program, one day a week. Her fav outfit was a pair of black jeans and black turtleneck, and she wore this EVERY WEEK! She claimed she was 'dressing up for Dalton', a little boy she played with, because apparently he liked the outfit (it looked great with her towhead blond hair!). I had a hard time convincing everyone that she was NOT depressed; just emphatic about what she wanted to wear to school:)

I did, however, take some convincing when K wanted a mohawk every summer. Thankfully, he grew out of that phase!

Tonya said...

Individuality is so important. We too let all our kids experiment with non permanent stuff. They've experimented with fun stuff. Last year my oldest dyed her hair black. It wasn't attractive on her, but it was the phase. She's also pierced her nose...then took it out. I'm the same way, you save the money, you pay for it. I'll take you to get it done.

Kati's eyeshadow is beautiful!! I loved it!

I love that my kids talk to me, aren't afraid to share their secrets and even other kids secrets. I want that connection, I never had it with my mom.

You are a great mom!!

Amy Ruttan said...

I think the pink looks great on her and I love the eyeshadow.

I wish I had of been able to have my hair the color I wanted when I was young, but it was a different time back then.

Hence why I die it red now.

AlteredAddict said...

Anne I love that there is another mother that feels the way I do Salia has been dying her hair since 12 - I feel like this it is her head and if she wants a differnt color that is her right - as parents we have to say NO to so many things that we just have to learn to pick our battles and hair and makeup isn't one I choose to fight -- I tell her if I don't care for something she chooses to do with her hair or face but in the end she knows I leav those decisions up to her - she has to go to school and face her friends and not friends and if she is comfortable then who am I to complain... She has never asked for pink hair we have tried blue steakes but it never seemed to take - now she is asking for purple highlights:-) lol

I am thrilled that you let yoru daughters be who they are we need more mothers in the world like us.


N.J.Walters said...

WTG Mom!

I love her hair and her eyeshadow. Congrats on raising kids who are not afraid to be individuals. They'll grow up with a better sense of who they are than a lot of kids well. The fact that she has to save her own money for the hair color is teaching her to work for what she wants, and obviously she's not afraid to do that.

That kind of freedom will mean they don't have to sneak around doing things behind your back.

Unknown said...

Congrats Anne,you're a great mother!

The only reason my hair isn't streaked bright pink is I'm afraid work would have a cow. I may do it anyway. I've wanted to for a long time.

My son is welcome to do anything like that if it won't get him in trouble at school. You're right, kids do need that ability.

After years of wearing dark clothes because that's what plus size sold, I now wear any bright color that I like if I think it doesn't look too bad. I'm 46 and I love color too! Maybe we should start a club! LOL

Regina Carlysle said...

These kids are adorable!!! Sorry I'm late checking out your awesome post. Away from the house most of the day and writing the rest. I think we MUST let our kids explore their individuality. The hair is cute and I love the funky make up too.

Tell her it's TRES HIP!

Liane Gentry Skye said...

Isn't it hard enough to raise children without other moms putting in their two cents worth? My daughter doesn't have pink bangs, but she does, from time to time, have two blue streaks and a purple on on one side. If this is the worst I get from the teen years, then I'll count my blessings thank you very much! My daugher is also into retro dressing...victorian era, english school girl, gothic lolita fashion,forties pinup girl and I LOVE that she's not afraid to wear her unusual garb to school.

She's going to do the Marilyn Nonroe bob this weekend, and I'm going to be cheering her all the way. She certainly has the guts to pull it off.