Heartbeats

This morning I went with my youngest daughter to see her OB-GYN. She'll soon be twenty and she's pregnant. Seventeen weeks pregnant. She's a tiny woman. Five feet tall, tiny bones, tiny hands, tiny feet. So that pudge in her midsection is quite obvious.

And she cries about that. lol

She is soooo worried that everyone is looking at her and thinking she's fat. And it's soooo obvious that the belly is a baby and not a beer gut. We all laugh at her.

The baby is just beginning to flutter inside of her. She feels it but says she's not certain. But it's the baby--letting her know he/she is there, of course. lol We don't know the sex yet. We'll find out on June 13. Today they drew blood and will run all the usual tox screens. That worries her, and I tell her not to worry.

The child is a healthy living nut these days. Orange juice, water, and an occasional iced tea. Baked chicken and fish. Salads, fruits, and veggies. Her weight gain is perfect. And still she worries about the baby.

It wasn't too long ago when I worried myself sick about this child of mine. She was a wild child. Loved to party. She's done a complete reversal and is soooo happy. I guess it just took the right guy for her to love and feel confident in his love. She's an angel now.

My angel is having an angel.

And today I heard the beats of that angel's heart. I cried.

The Top 5 Fictional Character Deaths That Destroyed My Soul

I'm an emotional person, regardless of what my enemies might scream in the face my cold, merciless fury. This extends to fiction. It has to, if I'm going to do my job as a writer. Being able to put myself in the shoes of a character helps me craft more believable conflicts and heartaches before my characters can get their HEA. But what really pisses me off is that some people, some horrible, awful, terrible, mean, butt hole people, don't let the characters get their HEA. Sometimes, they just straight up kill them.

Because this post is going to be all about characters I love who have died and left me with a gaping hole in my still beating heart, pumping gallons of blood and gore all over the place, there are going to be spoilers. Since I'm nice, be aware that there will be spoilers for the following movies/tv shows/books after the jump. If you click anyway, it's your funeral. So, last warning, if you click the jump, the following tv shows/books/movies WILL be spoilered for you:

Misfits
The Green Mile (book and movie)
Buffy The Vampire Slayer (comic books)
The Walking Dead (tv show)
A Song of Ice and Fire
Atonement (book and movie)

I don't make New Year's Resolutions, I make New Year's ResoAWESOMES.

Next week, it will be a new year. Every time we roll around the week after Christmas, my mind is blown. We're about to leave the old year behind. We're about to start a new one! But in this space in between, when no one is doing anything truly constructive, people are just kind of screwing off at their jobs in anticipation of the big end-of-year party, when banks and schools and libraries have insanely strange hours, everything feels so... liminal.

I love liminal spaces. As a kid, I used to hang out in door ways. So this week? This week is my week. I'm standing directly in the doorway of the new year, with the old behind me. When I step through, I need to be prepared.

At this point, I could make a lot of common resolutions. I could say I plan to lose weight. I plan to work harder and write more books. I plan to have a clean house all the time. I'll always have freshly baked cookies, I'll shower every day and wear makeup. I'll go on walks, I'll stop yelling at my dog when kicking him would suffice. No, I'm totally kidding about that last one. My dog lives to be yelled at. It's our love language.

But none of those resolutions would make me happy. People concentrate on using the new year in terms of how to make themselves a better person. By whose standards? I'm a great person already. I'm awesome, and everyone likes me. That's not bragging, that just an honest assessment of the situation. And while I definitely have areas to work on, that's between me and my therapist. That had nothing to do with building the best possible 2012 for me.

So here, in no particular order, are my resolutions for 2012:

1. Build a time machine. Go back to 1994. Enjoy the comforts and prosperity therein.
2. Oh, but put a wifi hotspot in my time machine, because for real, I'm not dealing with dial-up or America Online.
3. Watch at least one episode of Doctor Who every day.
4. Spend as much time just goofing off as I do writing.
5. Craft. Craft like a whore with her ass on fire. If that whore was a crafter.
6. Teach my toddler more swears to shock conservative relatives.
7. Stop worrying about my weigh and my body, because for serious, it's broken down. I need to recognize that God gives everyone different gifts. Mine is eating a whole tray of cupcakes.
8. Figure out the time zone difference between here and Hawaii so I'm not constantly waking up my Navy friend.

Let's just all hope the new year is as prosperous as my year in alternate-past 1994 will be, everybody!

That awkward moment when you realize it's Wednesday and you don't have a blog post planned...

At least it was only ten o'clock when I remembered what day it was. Otherwise, I would have been really embarrassed.

I have had a busy week, friends. Saturday I was offered a contract on a proposal I subbed on Friday. Really. That fast (more details to follow when the ink is dry, friends). I got the chance to sub a Jennifer Armintrout book at a new house. I have edits on my next Naughtily Ever After book. And oh, the Christmas presents I have to make...

Why is it that the holidays are the busiest time of the year? I'm not complaining about how busy I am, in general. Busy with work means things are looking up. But why December? Is this the spirit of giving, giving me more work?

Oddly, for me, I consider this busy time a vacation. Seriously. Okay, so I have to do my edits, and work on my next scheduled release. But it's very rare that I get to spend a whole night sewing. Now that I have a good excuse to do so, I embrace it. Oh, what was that, kids? You want to watch The Grinch? Well, I'd be a terrible mom if I didn't watch it with you. Rather than turn these edits around in a day and half, Whoville here I come. That proposal? I can work on it a little. But no one in New York publishing reads subs from Thanksgiving to January 2nd, and we all know it. At least, we knew it ten years ago, and I'm clinging to it, not out of procrastination, but to give myself permission to enjoy the holidays.

I think we get so caught up in the business of the busyness of the holidays, we don't stop to actually enjoy all the hard work we're doing to spend time with our families. I realize I'm coming at this from a purely Christian perspective, I know not everyone reading this blog will sympathize with my Christmas focused post here. But even if you don't celebrate any holiday at all, you can't deny that December is always uncommonly busy.

So, if you do nothing else this season, give yourself permission to relax. This year is almost over. If you screwed it up, well, good news, it's almost time for a fresh start. And if your year was awesome, way to go, champ, put it on the shelf and take a siesta so you're all rested up to make next year better.

Ten Signs Of Meltdown

Now I know you can all identify. Things go undone. You feel overwhelmed. And you can’t seem to fix anything. Nothing goes right. I’m feeling a lot of all of that right now. The pressures of family and writing and promotions just have me twisted like a pretzel.

But that’s how life goes. We are constantly inundated with the unexpected. Constantly pummeled with this or that to the point that we don’t know which way to turn. And what happens?

We have a melt-down.

Personally, my melt-down seems to be an ongoing thing. And I’ve learned to recognize all of the signs too. I can honestly visualize myself like the witch in the Wizard Of Oz, and I’ll turn to the nearest family member and say: “I’m melting…I’m melting…” They tend to back away when I do that. LOL

I thought it would be kind of fun to work up a list for everyone so you, too, could recognize all the trigger signs of melt-down. Oh, and I’ve posted this list before on another blog but since I have some torn cartilage that is giving me fits and the Tylenol isn’t touching the pain---I thought I could post it here as well as I’m sure most of you haven’t seen this list yet. So here it is:

1.    Your house possesses a permanent scorched scent from all the food you’ve burned.

2.    The cupboards contain a lot of green beans. A lot.

3.    You look at your bubble-headed eighteen-year old and actually say: “It’s your life, honey. You have to live it as you see fit.” All of this just before she gets into a car with a guy who looks like he is a throwback from Hell.

4.    The bank teller looks at your ID and swears it isn’t you.

5.    You email your best friend with a rant about your boss just to discover you emailed your boss.

6.    You get up in the morning and pick up the hairbrush, squint, and decide that bed-head suits you.

7.    You tell the cop that the redlight was only red for a few seconds before you went through it.

8.    So what if the flashing light says you’re low on gas? You’ve got enough fumes to make it home.

9.    When someone asks you what time it is, you ask them why they want to know.

10.  You think the mailman is coming on to you. After all, he’s at your door almost every day.

So if you recognize any of these symptoms, you’re having a melt-down. What do I recommend you do about it? Just go with the flow. Sometimes it can be kind of fun to see people look at you like you’re crazy. LOL And I’d love it if all of you would share your own personal melt-down symptoms.

Now for today’s book trailer showcase: Created by Tina with Topaz Promos http://topazpromos.com the video was made for Stormy Glenn’s Love Sexy from Siren Publishing.

http://tessmackall.com

Welcome Our Guest Elizabeth Black

For The Love Of Women
By Elizabeth Black

Loving women comes naturally to me, but I didn't know that when I was in college. I always thought you were either gay or straight. I didn't know you could love both men and women. So I learned by the time I was in my late twenties that I was bi-sexual. I've often fantasized about making love to a woman as far back as high school but the opportunity never presented itself except once, and she turned out to be very, very straight. I gave her many different kinds of educations. For instance, she was a vegetarian, and I got her to eat bacon. The gateway meat. LOL Soon she was eating cow and chicken. I don't know if she went back to being vegetarian but she did take a walk on the wild side for a little while there. However, my first and only experience making love to a woman didn't work out as I had hoped it would. I loved her, too. Even though it didn't work out the way I had hoped, we remained friends and are friends to this day.

I've created many lesbian and bisexual female characters, and Bridget and Gillian in "Things That Go Hump In The Night" are only my latest. This short paranormal lesbian story appears in the anthology "I Kissed A Girl II: More Virgin Lesbian Stories" published by Ravenous Romance. All my female characters feel a great lust for life and they help to open up their bi-curious lovers to the joys of both womanly sex and exotic living. My first lesbian character was Amelia in "Lost In Her Mouth". She appears in my short story anthology "Tales Of Lust And Longing", published by Whiskey Creek Press Torrid. Amelia is a very tactile-oriented young woman who loves to taste and feel everything around her – including her lover. My two favorites are Angelina and Charlotte in my favorite lesbian short story "Neighbors", which appears in the "Vamps" lesbian anthology published by Torquere Press. Angelina is based on Angelina jolie and Charlotte is based on Charlotte Lewis. Yes, I like a particular body type – long dark hair and skin, exotic features, muscular yet lithe, with large breasts and big hips. I don't do blondes, LOL. Ange and Charlotte invite staid, stick-in-the-mud Annie into their world, and there's no turning back! Annie dives into a world of decadent food, fine wine, a love of leisure, and exciting sex. Coming soon: Gatria, Sun, and Shira who appear in yet another lesbian story "Unfolding Her Wings", soon to be published in the anthology "Women On The Edge Of Space", by Circlet Press. This is my first science fiction story. Characters like Ange, Charlotte, Gillian, Sun, Gatria, Shira, and Amelia are very appealing to me. They break rules, think outside the box, enjoy their bodies and their lover's bodies, and there's no holding them back. I see them as my alter ego.

So, are you interested in meeting these fascinating women? You may find cover art and links to "Neighbors" and "Lost In Her Mouth" on my web site.

"Neighbors" – Scroll down on the "Short Stories" page to "Vamps".

"Lost In Her Mouth" – in "Tales Of Lust And Longing"

And here is information about my newest release, "Things That Go Hump In The Night", appearing in the "I Kissed A Girl II: More Virgin Lesbian Stories" anthology.

Title: I Kissed a Girl II: More Virgin Lesbian Stories
Includes short story "Things The Go Hump In The Night" by Elizabeth Black
Paranormal erotic lesbian romance
Edited by Regina Perry
Publisher: Ravenous Romance
Publish Date: 2011-03-22
Word Count: 50,957
ISBN: 9781607773993
Price $4.99

Buy Links:

Ravenous Romance

Amazon Kindle

AllRomanceEBooks

Bookstrand

Elizabeth Black's Web Site "I Kissed A Girl II" Page

Blurb:

Our readers asked for it, and now we're pleased to present Volume II of first-time lesbian encounters inspired by Katy Perry's hit song! Seven returning authors continue to arouse, plus six new authors will not disappoint.

This diverse collection travels the globe and the ages. No two settings or circumstances are alike, proving that women from every walk of life and culture are curious and eager to explore their full sexuality...with each other.

Welcome our guest- Kaily Hart

Please welcome our guest, the incredibly talented Kaily Hart who will be sharing her views on TATTS. Super sexy??? Hm. Guess it just depends. Read what Kaily has to say on the matter.


TATTOOS



I’m fascinated with tattoos. Just flat out fascinated. Of course, there’s tattoos and then there’s…tattoos J. There’s not much else that gets my attention more fully than a hot guy sporting a tasteful bit of ink. Does he have them anywhere else, like…somewhere I can’t see them? When did he get them? All together or over time? Why did he get them and what do they signify, if anything? Does he know how damn sexy they make him look? Probably, huh? And the writer’s mind is off, building scenarios and possibilities and yeah…weaving fantasies. And if you’re thinking what I consider ‘tasteful’?



Something like this…





not this J





That leaves a lot in between that kind of has to be assessed on a case by case basis and if you’re wondering..nope, I don’t have any tattoos. But I probably would if I could. I know exactly what it’d be like too. I’ve been known to search the internet for designs (all in the name of research, of course J) and have a pretty good idea. I’d pick something discreet, small, meaningful or symbolic, as well as something pleasing to look at. But I can’t. You see, I have a severe needle phobia ::takes a deep breath::. There I said it. It’s not like I haven’t had my share over the years—I have—I just can’t voluntarily sign myself up for having a million tiny needles every second. Okay, that’s probably an exaggeration, but it’s still A LOT, okay? Plus, there’s the real fear factor, not just of the needle itself, but of the high degree of probability that the tattoo artist would start and I’d chicken out after the fact. Who wants to have a partial design of something tattooed on their body for the rest of their lives LOL? I have enough “I love Lucy” moments as it is. Anyway, it’s funny and embarrassing, but whenever we’re up in Orlando at Disney with the kids? I always get a ‘tramp stamp’ at one of those temporary tattoo places LOL. Shhh, don’t tell anyone, all right?



Maybe one day I’ll find the courage from somewhere. In the meantime...I’ve pretty much discovered that the next best thing to having a tattoo is having the characters in my books have them. It has to fit the character and story above all else, but I think there’s a great deal of opportunity to build aspects of a character through a ‘quirk’ or an attribute like this. It’s fun to answer the questions I posed above for a character and it can become an interesting story element, another layer of the onion. I’ve got a few stories in the works where the heroes have tattoos. Adds another hotness factor to an alpha already doing okay in that department, but what the heck?



So…tell me what YOU think. Do YOU like tattoos? Do you like to read about heroes who have them? Heroines? Hot or not? Skank or swank?



Web – www.kailyhart.com

Blog - http://kailyhart.blogspot.com/

Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/kaily.hart

Twitter - http://twitter.com/kailyhart

Paranormal: Still going strong or fading?

I've been a huge paranormal fan for a few years. I went from never reading it, to reading primarily paranormal romance. For a while there it seemed like every time you turned around there was a new paraormal series popping up. I'm not complaining, because like I said, paranormal girl here, but I'm curious if the huge blast of paranormals has started to wear on readers.

Now I know vampires, shifters, demons and all those other things that go bump in the night have been around forever. They will continue to be around and people will continue to read them. Who doesn't like to step out of reality for a little while and imagine a vampires bite? The paranormal world is dangerous and sexy as hell, but after a while are you looking for something...different? That new creature we've never heard of. A world so unique it blows your mind. Or is that forbidden romance...those delicious beasts are just so much more fun than the typical Joes.

I'm a lover of both genres equally. I can devoure some paranormal just like the next girl. Most of my favorite series or authors write about vampires or shifters, but I still have that soft spot for contemporary that burns just as brightly as my love of paranormal.

So for you writers out there, do you read and write both genres? Read one and write the other?

Readers, is there theme in contemporary or creature in paranormal that you're seeing too much of?

What Creeps You Out?

siiiiiiiigh. I have to go to the dentist today. It won't be a big deal THIS TIME but I have work coming and the very idea makes my skin crawl. Now don't get me wrong, my dentist is a super nice guy and my family has gone to him for years but when I know a trip to the dentist is coming up I start to freak out just a little bit. Looking back, I realize I have valid reasons for this. I grew up in a teensy tiny town where there was only one dentist. The dude did NOT like little kids. No matter how still I might be, he growled at me about 'opening wider', he never smiled, and it had been said that he would smack the hands of kids who squirmed too much. I never got a 'hand smack' but my little sister did.

In later years, any dental work that required those long-assed needles for deadening almost sent me off the roof. For some reason, I don't deadened easily and I learned this the hard way. Maybe it's just the idea that I am immobile and someones fingers are in my mouth that just freaks me the hell out. About a year ago during a routine cleaning, a crown in the back of my mouth was jarred loose and knocked down my throat. Sounds violent, doesn't it? Well, it wasn't THAT violent but in my mind, it was creepy as hell. I sat up instantly and the hygenist is pounding my back as the whole office comes running. Looking back, I kind of laugh imaging the whole crazy episode but this also serves to emphasize to me that me and dentists don't mix!


Though I am genuinely a pretty brave person, there are a number of things that I could do without. Things that freak me out. I have a fear of enclosed places. I'll never forget vacationing in Mexico and climbing into a 'viewing room' in a glass bottomed boat. It wasn't really a room but a long narrow hallway thing with stools lined along it. Somehow I was in the middle with people on either side. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. It was dark and airless and I just knew I had to get out of there and fast but it was impossible. Just watching the folks on those shows about Egyptian pyramids freaks me out once they begin climbing through those narrow spaces. GAH.

Phobias. I think maybe we all have them. What are some of yours?

You've sold your first book...NOW WHAT?

I remember selling my first book and thinking...what now? Once I'd gotten past the thrill of it all, I knew it was time to think about promoting myself. But how? Nobody knew who the hell I was! No name recognition. No book out there in the cyber world. I was a big fat NOBODY. At the time I wasn't involved in any loops, I knew next to nothing about blogs, and I had no clue where new authors should advertise an upcoming release. I wasn't tech savvy (unless I counted my ability to punch the 'power' button on my computer). Really, it was pathetic how little I knew about things. Over the years, I've gotten plenty of advice...good and bad about promotion. I don't see myself as any kind of expert on the subject but here goes. The single most important thing you can do is to get yourself a nice website.

You've just sold your first book. What is the very first thing you need to do in the way of getting your name out there? A good website is a MUST HAVE investment. I know of many authors who weren't necessarily tech savvy who managed to figure out how to get a nice website up and running. Join some writers loops and ask around. Normally it's not too hard to get advice about this stuff and writers are the most generous people in the world. The main thing to keep in mind is...it must look clean, professional, and capture the imagination. You are a writer aren't you? You are creative. Your website should reflect not only your books but say something about YOU and leave visitors with an impression that will hopefully stick in their minds.

Right away I realized I wasn't savvy enough to achieve the classy look I wanted for my site on my own. Rather than botch it up BIG TIME, I hired someone to do my site. I didn't ask around. I just leaped. Biiiiig mistake. Please, please talk to other writers about websites and do your research. Look at the sites of friends or authors you admire and see what they've done. Make notes about things you've seen that you want included on your new site. My first website ever was NOT what I wanted. I depended on people who didn't know much about the writing world or about how to sell both an author and her books. I spent a fortune on it before my first book ever released. Stick with website builders who understand what an author needs.

Want to hear a sad tale? I have one and it's a typical newbie mistake. I never, ever made enough money from the sales of my first book to come close to paying what I spent on this bad website. Sad, I know. The book is now placed elsewhere but that's a whole 'nother story. What I learned from this big 'money blowing experience' was to NOT overspend in the beginning. Ask around. Look at sites. Find someone to build your site who has know how about putting together something geared toward books and authors.

It took a bit of trial and error before I finally got the website I truly wanted and that reflected both me and my stories. It didn't cost a fortune either. I wanted something that was easy to navigate and that I could manage myself. Now, I'll be the first to admit, I haven't totally gotten the hang of my wordpress site but I can blog on it, I can add and take away things. I'm not completely at the mercy of a webmistress who may or may not have time to make the changes I need. Webmistresses charge a monthly fee. Keep that in mind. If you have monthly releases, lots and lots of additions on a regular basis, it is just sometimes better if you can do it yourself. You might be one of those busy authors who is simply more comfortable paying someone but your income from the sales of books should justify that expense. Others may find it more comfortable being 'captain of her own ship' and maintaining complete control of her website.

You don't want to spend yourself into the poorhouse with a website but you must also keep in mind that this is the place where fans, potential new readers, and industry professionals will look when they want to know more about you. A shoddy website is a turn off but you don't have to break the bank to have one that reflects your professional face. Keep it clean. Keep it classy. Keep it affordable.

The Boyfriends

I have two girls in addition to the boy I mentioned in my post entitled The Dog, The Boy, and Tess. http://threewickedwriters.blogspot.com/2010/09/dog-boy-and-tess.html My girls are eighteen and nineteen. They, of course, think they’re grown. Well, at least one of them thinks she’s grown and the other one occasionally thinks she’s grown.

Because of their age and my reconciliation with the fact that neither of them are virgins—and why would I try to protect that anyway?—there are NO curfews at my house for my girls. Except when they have to get up early the next morning for school or work. Both work, but only one, “J”, goes to school and works. The other one, “T”, should be starting school in the spring—we’ll see. But the rule here is that you work and go to school. Life is not a free ride, and along with the good times, work MUST be included. So “T” does at least work even though she’s not in school.

As long as they give me good grades and make their own play money, I’m good to go. Or should be. Yeah, right. I’m accused of butting into their boyfriend business quite a bit. Well, I do. Why? Because they both have had some pretty lousy taste in dudes. I guess maybe they inherited that. Hmmm…

Anyway, “J” just got past a relationship with a guy who honestly was verbally abusive. Maybe more—but if he was, she knew better than to tell me at least while they were still together or may be too embarrassed now to admit to it. You know the kind of guy. One second he would tell her how much he loved her. How gorgeous he thought she was. How smart. Then two minutes later he’d take it all back. Call her names, etc. For nine long months I had to sit and watch this crap. “J” literally cried every day. There was NEVER an up day. And I sat back and wondered where I’d gone wrong. I’d raised her to know all the signs of an abusive relationship. Raised her to be strong and independently natured. Always told her how pretty and smart she is. So why did she allow this guy to take control of her and demean her in such a way? I have yet to figure that all out. Thankfully, she finally bit the bullet and followed my advice almost three months ago and is free of that jerk. She told me yesterday that she couldn’t believe she’d ever even liked him. Well, duh! I guess each woman has to endure one of those idiots so it sinks in. I just kept praying that she’d see the light. Some girls aren’t so lucky and stay in these relationships.

The new guy—yep there’s a new one. At that age guys are kind of like M & Ms. They come and go by the handful. LOL But this new guy is really cute. Has THE most incredible bright blue eyes. I like him. He’s the good ole Southern boy type. Very unassuming. Polite. Holds down two jobs. And he’d definitely take his gal down a country road and check her for ticks. *snicker* And “J” really likes him a lot. He’s 26. Seven years her senior. Do I see that as a problem? Nope. I am praying it means his frontal lobe is fully developed. LOL And after a month? I kind of think it is. At least he hasn’t pissed me off. That’s a damn good sign too. They usually do it within the first week.

As for the eighteen-year-old? Sighhhhh I just don’t know about “T”. Her issues seem to surround never being able to find a guy who will EVER make above minimum wage. Now before you throw rotten eggs or tomatoes, there’s nothing wrong with minimum wage earners. However, there’s nothing wrong with having a little ambition either. A little OOMPH to your goals. And her guy seems to have no goals other than:

1. Getting the brakes to work well enough on his ol’ junker to get him where he’s going THIS time.
2. Scrounging up enough change for Mickey D’s dollar menu. Sharing the small fry with HER.
(Okay. He shared with her and that SHOULD get him points. Uh huh. Yeah.)
3. Buying a hundred-dollar-pair of sneakers with his paycheck that was only $180.00.
4. Setting the seat in his car so far back that he is LYING DOWN to drive.
5. Outfitting said junker with bling that makes it AND him look stupid.
6. Borrowing money from HER so that she in turn must borrow from ME because he NEVER pays her back.

All in all? Big ole RED “L” is painted on this dude’s forehead. LOOOOOOSER! Okay. Some day one of these guys may turn out to be the next Bill Gates. But I seriously doubt it. I had a round with “T” this morning about this guy. She was telling her sister that her guy had not been paid yet again this week—yeah, not been paid seems to happen to him frequently. For some odd reason his boss keeps holding back his paycheck. Sounds to me like said dude is borrowing on his pay check and owes his boss. Then borrowing from my girl. Who borrows from me. THIS vicious cycle is now officially broken. So not happening again.

So, I’m doing what I do best. Snooping. Yep, I’m doing the old police check today. Yep, criminal records tell you a lot about a person. And then I’ll be calling on some people I know in the area where said dude and his dad live. Time to find out just WHAT this is all about.

Am I going too far? Should I just let it lie? Let her make her own mistakes without interference? Yep, I should. Except for one thing. Her mistakes always come back to haunt me somehow and forewarned is forearmed. I already told her she could hand over her hard-earned money to this guy again this week, but she better not ask me for a dime. Like that’s gonna happen. But she will learn the hard way this time that NO means NO. I dread it.

So how far have any of you ever gone to protect your kids from a relationship that was harmful? I’d really like to know. And some of you may even be able to give me some tips.

See you all next Monday!

I am the Bloody Oracle!

After reading a blog post HERE, I left a comment about being the bloody oracle. Anyone else suffer with being this maddening deity? While I realise, and think it’s quite sweet really, that my children ask me where everything is, it doesn’t mean I have to sodding well like it. Especially not when I have a large number of children—it seemed a good idea at the time (only joking, love them really)—and all of them ask me throughout the day, one after the other, preferably each child requesting I know something more than once, where their gear is. Especially not when it’s my writing time they’re interrupting with their queries.

Imagine it:

John caressed Marjorie’s buttocks (Mum, where’s my shoes?) (In the shoe rack where they’re meant to be. *cue Mum’s smugness at her delicate dig*) and felt the heat of her arousal pressed against his leg. She gasped (Mum, where’s my purple wotsit with the sparkly bits on it?) (*Grits teeth* What sparkly wotsit?) (You know, that wotsit I got at that party.) (I have no idea what sparkly wotsit you’re talking about *Pant! Pant! Lord give me strength!*) (But I need it!) (Do you? Righty ho. Perhaps try your bedroom? *I need a bloody skillet to wrap about your head.*) and reached her hand up to cup his cheek. (Mum, where’s my—) (You’d better not be asking me where your shoes are again, boy!)

And on it goes.

Of course, ever since they can remember, Mum has always sorted things out, knew where everything was, so, as they’ve grown they refuse to think for themselves. It’s easier to ask Mum instead.

Where’s my oracle? *stamps feet* Where’s the person I ask? *throws self on floor like a dying swan and makes groaning noises one of the heroines in my books would proud of*

Uh, that would be me too.

I’m all for having an easy life, but at times, my little buggers…uh, I mean darling children, need to take a bit of responsibility for where they put their—wait for it!—“thingy”.

There are numerous things a “thingy” could be, and much as I’d like the ability to read minds, I don’t know what those thingies are when I’m asked where they are.

A classic example: “Muuuuuuuuuuuuuum! Where’s my thingy?”

“I have no idea. If I knew what the thingy was, I might know, but also, unless the thingy was left down here for me to put away—which is usually the case *more Mummy smugness at yet another dig*—why would I know where you put it?”

I am the bloody oracle.

I’ve tried being clever and asking them if they can cast their minds back to the time they last saw their thingy. I know this doesn’t even work for me at times, but hey, it’s worth a shot, right? But they are infinitely cleverer.

“I can’t remember.”

“Ah, you blessed little…sweet child. You can’t remember. That’s a good one. I’ll have to remember that one. I mean, remember not to remember where my thingies are.”

Some days I don’t even remember where my head is, let alone my thingy (and if I were a man, that would sound just plain WRONG). Just the other day I made a cup of tea. You know, the British kind with milk. There it sat on the kitchen side, and I’m stirring in the milk after having squeezed the old PG Tips bag and dumping it in the bin. My mind was full of a WIP, and, funny enough, I’d stopped at a scene where my characters were having a coffee. Absently, I reached for my coffee jar and added a spoon to my tea. I've done this before, and it features in my free read, Love Quest, except then I added gravy powder (don't ask...). I must say, the shock that I did this brought me up short. Am I going crazy now? Do I need to watch myself while out crossing the road? Because if I’m thinking about my characters like this, I might do myself some damage.

Anyway, the tea/coffee combo made quite a nice drink. Yeah, I drank it.

So, I may well tell my children that I can no longer be the bloody oracle due to diminished responsibility. “I’m insane, my beauties, so it isn’t safe to ask me where your thingies are.”

Reckon it will work? Nah, I don’t think so either, but it’s worth a try.

Failing that, I can always buy some of these. I heard they were pretty effective.

So damn sexy!

Vampires. I have to admit that four years ago if you would have asked me if I read a vampire romance, I probably would have laughed. I'm not proud to admit it, but I judged a book by its cover...err... a genre before I've read it. It wasn't just vampires, but I didn't do the whole paranormal romance thing at all. I didn't get it. The "undead" sexy? No way. Wolf shifters? How can the heroine not be worried they'll shed on her couch? LOL. Okay, so I wasn't that bad, but pretty close.

I had a friend who kept begging me to give them a try. I put up a fight until I couldn't hold her back anymore and that's when I picked up The Dark Hunters series by Sherrilyn Kenyon and my life has never been the same. LOL. I can't get enough of those sexy paranormal creatures! Shifters? HOT. Vampires? D-freakin-licious! Demons, Angels, I love them all, but I have to admit, vampires always hold a special place in my heart. They always affect me more than any of the other things that go bump in the night.

This weekend I was reading Taken by Midnight, the newest in Lara Adrian's Midnight Breeds, and I started thinking about what it really is about vampires that are so damn sexy. The strength is pretty hot, the good looks, immortality isn't bad either. They're forbidden and taboo which most of us girls just can't get enough of. All those are great, but there are a few other things that REALLY get me when it comes to vampires, and some other paranormals now that I think about it, but I LOVE their FIERCE protection of the woman they love, and that possessive, MINE attitude. I guess that's not very independent woman of me, but I get shivers just thinking about how protective and possessive they get over the woman they love. How she is theirs to protect and he'll do anything to keep her safe. I'm not afraid to admit how incredibly hot that is to me. LOL. What I love Adrian's series is the vampires have that protective attitude, but the women are strong and capable too! They know what the women can bring to the table, and they let them participate, but also you know that the big, sexy vampire warrior always has their back.

And of course, they're pretty damn capable in the bedroom too. We can't forget that. How they know where to touch you, the added danger and excitement of fangs against your skin.... Yeah, like I said, damn sexy!

What is your favorite paranormal character? What is it that makes them so sexy to you?