Thursday, March 26, 2009

unappreciated and invisible

At some point in everyone's life you get this feeling like you are a speck of dirt on the bottom of someone's shoe. Lately, it's been my turn to feel like the speck. I don't know what it is, but it's like I'm suddenly invisible. Don't you just hate that feeling?

It'd be different if it were just my personal life or just my work life, but when it feels like your being ignored, taken for granted, and treated like a peon from several directions you start to feel your temper. Years ago, after I got my driver's license, I joked that I was finally a somebody. Like having my license somehow gave me a sense of worth. Doesn't it suck when you realize you could fade into the abyss and no one would really miss you for a good week or so? LOL

Okay, that's being overly dramatic. After all, my kids would wonder why they don't have clean underwear well before that! Nevertheless, we authors are like song artists. Each of us is a needle in really big stack of needles. You have to be extra shiny and mega sharp to be noticed. I'm starting to realize that my needle must be a little dull. It's been one hit after another. I consider myself a pretty easygoing person. I try to treat others as I want to be treated. But when I was complaining the other day to my mom about someday being treated like I matter, she said something that stuck with me. Sometimes the squeaky wheel really does get the grease. She sees it a lot in her job. The noisy, annoying customers get management's attention. And doesn't that just suck?! It's part of life, I suppose.

Unfortunately I'm not willing to be an annoying bitch to get ahead. I prefer to think that eventually hard work will push me beyond life as a speck. Until then, please step lightly. LOL


Kelley Nyrae said...

Boy do I hear ya! Hate feeling like that. You're right though, being a squeaky wheel may some times get you the attention but it may not always end up the kind of attention we want. i believe we're doing things the right way.

Unknown said...

You're right, it sucks! I've been the invisible one most of my life.

I try to find a happy medium but it isn't always possible and it's seldom easy.

Someday maybe things will change but I'm not sure it will happen in my lifetime. LOL

Anne Rainey said...

It's funny how these things can just drive you nuts, huh? I'm very lucky though to have publishers like Red Sage, Samhain, The Wild Rose Press and Kensington. They're all great companies. I guess when you come across people in this business who aren't so wonderful, it makes you appreciate the good apples all the more! :)

Amy Ruttan said...

Hugs Anne. I feel invisible all the time, and I haven't cracked NY yet. But I'm understanding NOW if I do, it won't really matter. I'm still a newbie.

I was ranting about certain authors the other day who are biatchs. I will never be one. I will never put myself on the pedestal and look down to those writers starting out.

Never, ever.


Hey I saw you introduced yourself on the PAN loop. You're five steps ahead of me. I've been on the loop since August, and I haven't introduced myself yet. Not at all. Maybe this afternoon.

Anne Rainey said...

Amy--I gotta believe that persistence and hard work eventually pays off. And I think the biatches of the world WILL get bit in the butt by karma. LOL

about PAN...I've been an RWA PAN member for quite awhile, but didn't know there was a PAN loop until the other day when an author mentioned it. LOL

Anonymous said...

LOL! Very funny, Anne. But I'm glad you don't want to take that squeaky wheel route!

Years ago, when I worked in a retail bookstore, we had to write down the reasons for customer's returns, and some of them got a little snarky, since nobody but us chickens ever saw them.

I still remember my favorite one: "Reason for return: Customer changed what little mind she had."

Those squeaky wheels may get noticed, but not in a good way. Don't dwell on these frustrations--visualize your successful future!


Anne Rainey said...

"Reason for return: Customer changed what little mind she had."

LMBO!! You know, I can't imagine returning a book. That's like returning gasoline...after you drove your car for about fifty miles. LOL

Saroya said...

On the email loop when you aren't around I think we all assume you are writing like a fiend.

And yes, I know what you mean.

Regina Carlysle said...

I am RIGHT WITH YOU on this. This is the story of my life these days. Everyone is throwing demands on me right and left and I'm seriously on the verge of losing my temper with everyone's thoughtlessness. The other day I sold another book and know what my big news was greeted with? An eye roll and a question...what's for dinner! ARGH!!!!

Mary Ricksen said...

I have had that feeling so many times.
So I feel a little sorry for myself, maybe cry some, wallow a bit and then I get my back up and push through. I try to avoid the creeps who are inconsiderate to me, (Unfortunately it's usually my husband who is the worst to me). You can change other people, you can only change how you react to them. So stand by your limits with family and friends. And professionally all you can do is play the game. Hopefully you will win some. Good luck, things will change they always do.

Anne Rainey said...

Regina--I call my mom and tell her my good news. She's always so thrilled for me! Thank goodness for moms!

Mary--I usually bitch to my husband about these things, but this time he was at work, so I took my complaints to you all! LOL

Anonymous said...

I really felt like that on my birthday this year. Ihave 4 kids and not only did none of them remember it, my MOM forgot too. Oh she covered up and said (the day after) oh I ordered something and it didn't come yet. I mean, come on, she was there XX years ago; she remembers everything else.

Anne Rainey said...

{{{Nancy}}} Oh, boy. Your mom got her 'greatest mom' badge revoked for that one!

Desirée Lee said...

Always remember, you're unique.

Just like everybody else.


Carpe Noctem,

Desirée Lee
Putting the Romance Back in Necromancy

Paris said...

I'm with Mary. You can't change people the only thing you can change is how you react to them. I know it sounds weird but the next time someone treats you like you're invisible call up someone who doesn't and tell them how much you appreciate them! Balance out the negative with something positive and it will make you feel instantly better and give your friend a little boost they may be needing:-)

Anny Cook said...

Paris, what a lovely idea! And you're right, it will be a powerful positive, too!

It's very easy to feel underprivileged and deprived--until you look at those around you that truly are in dire straits. When I feel down on myself, I look at the weather channel... floods, tornadoes, earthquakes... Gee, I believe that my world is JUST FINE!

Hang in there!

Anne Rainey said...

Des--LOL! Gee, thanks! :)

Paris--You know, my oldest daughter sort of has this attitude. She's always so positive. I love that about her. No matter what life throws at her, she tries to see the good.

Anne Rainey said...

Anny--Yep, you're right. I'm very lucky.