Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Haters-They Are Everywhere

From the Urban Dictionary
Hater: A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.

Over the past week or so I've noticed the number of 'haters' increasing faster than we can blink. Let's face it, they are everywhere and I'm coming to suspect it's a new national pasttime to hate others and spew vitriole all over the place. Don't know about you guys but I'm fucking sick of it. Last night I was watching a news program about members of the House of Represenatives in Oklahoma moving the Presidents portrait to the back of the room. Don't they get it? We had an election and we have chosen our president. Show some respect. Hate groups hiding under the guise of Christianity are picketting the homes and funeral services of our soldiers carrying signs that say homosexuals who are killed in battle deserved what they got. Spewing hate, carrying signs, picketting, and harrassing the mourning family.

Good grief! Were these people raised in a barn?

Check out any number of the blogs out there and you'll see more evidence of the wave of hate out there. Most of us have been the victim of blog 'review sites' where just about every single book is trashed...just because they CAN trash it. Some seem to take a giggling, wild sort of glee in honing in on particular words and phrases and carrying on and on with their trash talk. Book covers are mocked and sneered at and authors raked over the coals. Are these honest reviews? I don't think so. You have only to look these blogs over and see they make a habit of hating. Naturally, they are hoping to gain a whole lot of hits to their blogs by friends rushing to the defense of the wounded author.

Amazon Free Reads might as well have a bulls-eye on them. FREE READS folks. The author is kind enough to offer a sample of her work and gets trashed for her efforts. What is the purpose in something like this? Haters are flexing their muscles and taking out their every frustration in forums like this. The other night a fellow author pointed to a You Tube video. Her daughter had been honored by the company she works for and was given the job of doing an instructional video. The comments that followed were beyond hateful and despicable in every way. Hundreds showed up to comment on her body and general appearance. I saw the video and she is an attractive young woman but that isn't the point. They poked fun, made snide and nasty comments and all in a public forum. Why? Because they are Haters and because they can.

Personally, I believe there are more of us than THEM. How do we fight them? I wish I knew. I just wish they would go away and get a life. Perhaps if they found something meaningful to do with their lives they would stop harassing those who have.

Sorry about the rant. Just had to get this off my chest.


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Kelly said...

Haters haters all around. I totally agree with you. When people can't handle someone else's good fortune [success] they immediately jump on the hating bandwagon. Just because you didn't think of it first or were 'hungry' enough to pursue your dream as ferociously as others did-don't put them down because of it. Chances are they couldn't rock it anywhere near as good as the person they're hating on.

Regina Carlysle said...

Well said, Sheridan. Each of us has a dream to follow and some of us have the courage to do it. Those who don't have that courage just spend their time puking their frustration out on others.

Hales said...

The world is filled with haters. It's an ugly feeling to be hated on.With all the energy it takes to bring others down, to spread hate throughout public forums like you tube and such...they must have plenty of time on their hands focusing on the victim. Time is a luxury most writers don't have between promoting,edits,writing and researching. So if they're going to expend their energy and efforts on nonsense oh well. I can't very well stop someone's mouth from spewing out harmful words but I can keep working on my own goals.If it happened to me my failure would be to let anyone's words hold power over me since surely they're not a friend, why heed a word said or get angry myself?

Anonymous said...

I agree, I don't even read comments on YouTube any more. There all are mean, ok a great deal of them are. I also tend to ignore mean, snide book reviews. Especially if most of the reviewers reviews are that way.
Granted I'm cynical, but feel I'm honest.

Jolie Cain said...

You are so right about the haters. What happened to just being nice? A very under-rated quality, if you ask me.

Maria said...

My mother always taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything and that is so true. I've often looked at the reviews on the "free" books on Amazon and thought...wow..a free book and your telling everyone else not to bother cause it's trash...not everything will appeal to everyone so I've always just disregarded those comments. Your right there are alot of haters out there and I think that things will probably only get worse.

Nina Pierce said...

It must be the theme for the day Regina. I'm tired of it. Tired of the negativity. Tired of the backbiting. It takes a lot of energy to be mean and vindictive. I smile and a kind word takes nothing. I wish more people would remember that.

Cai said...

Hey Rita,

You and Nina are absolutely right! It takes too much energy to hate and to spew that hatred in a public forum. If you're that unhappy, find another outlet for your feelings...then again, that would require them getting out from behind their computers and actually interacting with the human race - not something most haters will do.

I mentioned on Nina's blog the pins we have at work - one says "Crabby Abby" and the other is "Negative Nancy" (absolutely NO offense meant to anyone named Abby or Nancy!). We give those to anyone who is exhibiting a negative or crabby attitude just to alert them that others have noticed and they need to readjust before dealing with patients...sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but it DOES alert them to what they're doing.

Unknown said...

Many times people are frustrated, and unhappy because the feel helpless and unable to control bad things in their own lives. For them the only thing left to do is spread the negativity.

I think haters are placed in our lives to remind us how we should act or be good character references to others.

Misselle38 said...

The best thing to do is not get drawn in with all the hate. haters want you to be like them, miserable, mean and angry at the world for no apparent reason. If they sucker you in and you get in a heated dialog, thats how they get their joy, by pulling in another innocent person into the BS they live in.


I am so super proud of you for saying it out loud. YOU ARE SICK OF THE HATERS.
Thank you so much for standing up for the President. He may NOT be everyone’s choice but they can at least respect the position. I have NEVER seen such flagrant disrespect.

The same politics hold true in the literary world. There are haters who will never like certain genres and will find anything to pick it apart and put forth their own spiteful rants on the matter.
Believe me, I am old as dust and I can tell you I was PRE digital and now I am current and post digital age and I remember when “They” wouldn’t even consider taking an Email query, manuscript or general question, now, that’s ALL they do.
People hide behind all kinds self righteous shields, but in the end they will be held accountable.

Thank you so much for a great post.


Jake - but not the one said...

Regina, I think it is part and parcel of our times. We live in an environment where the politicians feel free to spout poisonous and public accusations without the merest shred of evidence, and for which they are never held accountable. Instead, the media trumpets these accusations and falsehoods as if they were reality, when in fact they are the disturbed dreams of disturbed people.

Things will change, but in times of change, many human beings fail to rise to the challenge, instead falling to the lowest of the low. It's just the way it is. As you say, most of us do rise to the occasion, but there remains that third that simply cannot - and the form the bulk of the haters.

Let them go, keep focussed on what you do well. It's like mosquitoes in the summer - you don't get the warmth and light without the bloodsuckers. :)

Regina Carlysle said...

Thinking I touched on a sensitive subject here but let's face it, we are bombarded with this shit 24/7. Back when I was a kid, we caught the news in our daily newspaper or on the 6 pm evening news. Now, news is continual with every take on every subject you can imagine. We have the internet where every hater with access to a computer can spew sludge to his hearts content. These forums, while serving a wonderful purpose, are often abused by the haters of the world.

We ignore it hoping it will go away. What else can we do? Speak out? Maybe although I doubt it would do much good. You know how you feel when you are surrounded by happy people? It feels great! You feel great! Positive vibes are contagious and those are the type of people I associate with. Unfortunately the same can be said for negative haters. That's all they know and they gather other negative folks to them in droves. You know the old adage MISERY LOVES COMPANY definitely applies here.

Anita Birt said...

I'm sure Haters exist in Canada but I haven't run across them. Yes, we have tensions and some extremists but they are minor compared to those you mentioned on Three Wicked Writers.

Keep the Haters at arm's length and ignore them. They thrive on publicity. Thanks for the rant. I enjoy a good rant myself.

Madison Scott said...

You said it, Regina! I get so tired of all the hating.

Anne Rainey said...

In this day and age it's just TOO easy to be anonymous online. It makes people feel bold. They can say whatever they want with zero repercussions.

Decent people think before they type.

Roxanne Rhoads said...

I think the best thing to do with haters is ignore them. If no one pays attention and gives them more ammo then eventually they'll shut up or go off and mumble incoherantly to themselves in a corner.

Bekki Lynn said...

Sometimes it's a rut people fall into and don't realise it. They fall in with people who are of like mind and things get out of hand before they know it. Whether it be in private conversations or public comments it can be detrimental. I know I've been there and it's the most regretable experience of my life. Not only did I learn I have a nasty streak, but I learned not everyone believes in the 'strictly confidential factor'.

When I realized what had happened, I wanted to bury my head in the sand out of shame and embarrassment. It's not the real me.

I was taught to keep my mouth shut if I didn't have something nice to say. This motto should be taped to everyone's monitors, because there is plenty out there not to like. You just don't have to be mean about expressing yourself.

And yeah, some people are just plain mean and hateful. Some like the attention. Makes you wonder about their life and what they're lacking.

Tess MacKall said...

It's how they make themselves feel important. And online it's even easier. They use their blanket anonymity to get away with things they never could out there in the real world.

Snarky blogs are the worst. That group picketing the funerals should be shut down. I so pray that the Supreme Court's decision on all of that this fall takes care of the issue with free speech. That being: free speech is free until you infringe on someone else's right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And most certainly the right to mourn a fallen soldier who just happened to be a loved one.

Great blog, Regina. Keep 'em comin'.

Laura Breck said...

Thanks for your post, Regina. I agree, it scares me to think of how much hate and cruelty there is in the world. I had to un-friend from Facebook a very famous author who incites her readers to say horrible things about our president. They were calling him the antichrist for trying to pass the health care reform bill. It makes me sad.

Regina Carlysle said...

I did that, too, Laura. Could be it was the same author. Elections are a civil (or supposed to be) thing yet not this time. There is a faction that just won't give it up.

Unknown said...

No, there aren't more of them. They're like the so-called Moral Majority, they are neither...What they are is very vocal and there aren't enough people going out of their way to say good things. We just usually don't feel the need to be as pushy about being nice as they do about being obnoxious. Just remember the more you talk about them the more they are encouraged to continue doing it.

A few years ago I started making a point of letting people know that someone did a good job of customer service. You wouldn't believe the shock when you call and ask to speak to a manager to praise someone. I try spreading the nice things one person at a time.

Unknown said...

Giving people like this a public forum incites them to spill more vitriol. Sadly, that's exactly what is happening today with some blogs and TV stations who love it when the haters try to provoke more hate. The fastest way to shut them down would be to deny them an audience. They hate indifference more than they hate whatever their pet peeve is. Turn them off or go someplace else -- if enough of us did that we'd shut the haters out of their fix, maybe even drive them back into their hole.

Regina Carlysle said...

I think showing some love is a good idea, Connie. I try to do that myself. Sometimes it really surprises people doesn't it? Maybe we're all just so geared to hear the bad stuff. Sad.

Regina Carlysle said...

Yes, PA. When they show up to protest and march, we shouldn't show up either. Ignore the mean asses and maybe they'll get bored and go away.

Dalton Diaz said...

The people are starting to speak on the political front, at least in the state of MA. The underdog won the senate seat pretty much based on the fact that his opponent spent her campaign time and money being a hater instead of simply stating anything good she could bring to the table. It was a huge wake-up call.

Kathleen Coddington said...

Your points are well made and sadly all too true. Civility is is short supply everywhere. There is a difference bewtween pointing out a genuine problem or concern and this soul sucking ugly negativity that seems to be in vogue.

Lyn Armstrong said...

Haters leave a negative imprint on all those they infect with their malicious talk. I've had a "friend" do this to me recently which hurts even more.

I gotta say that her nasty words about me has not only effected me, but many others as well. I don't understand why we can't just all get along. Why do these people look for bulls eyes on others backs? Do they have such low self-esteem that they must hurt others as they must be hurting themselves?

Surely, it would feel a lot nicer to be positive than negative. There is a saying, "When you judge others, you judge yourself."

For all those haters in the world, I wish to send you positive energy so that you may feel whole and complete and stop lashing out at the world.

With much love and respect

Unknown said...

I think what scares me the most about this trend is that it is being used to set a fire under the narrow minded bigots by inciting their fears and playing on their prejudices. It's leading to violence and I'm afraid I foresee a time in the not so distant future when it will erupt into real violence. Already I understand that hate groups, especially the neo-Nazi and white supremacist groups are growing in number and certain TV stations play into that by having overtly racist commentators who can do or say whatever they want and no one holds them accountable. It's insanely crazy and it scares me at times.

misskallie2000 said...

I agree. There are alot of people who hate those that make something of their life. These are usually the people to lazy to go after what they want in life. They expect it to be handed to them on a silver platter.
My Mom taught me the same as Maria, if you can't say something nice don't say anything.

misskallie2000 at yahoo dot com