Monday, April 5, 2010

falling off the pedestal

I was watching an old episode of Charmed the other day. The girls and I love that show. Even now when all the episodes are reruns we record them anyway. Nevertheless, this one episode was on where Piper gets shot by the crazy lady who swears she's 'just like them'. In other words, she's a witch and wants to get their attention. To have them notice her, acknowledge her as one of their peers. They end up throwing her out and treating her like she's just a pest. She gets angry...thus the event that changes the Charmed Ones forever.

Why bring this up? Well, I've been pondering the notion that a single event, or person, can change how you view so many things. Like a domino effect. Let's say it's a person you've always looked up to. They say one thing and it throws you for a loop. This happened to me recently. Only with me it was more like they said and did SEVERAL things!

I'm the type of person who tends to give people the benefit of the doubt. Everyone has an off day. No one is perfect. We all say or do things that we don't always mean. We don't intend to hurt others, of course, sometimes words simply come out and it's all just wrong. I've done this myself, I know I have. I try to be careful and still I screw up.

At any rate, I was on the recieving end the other day. Someone I always admired turned out to NOT be the person I thought they were. Even so, I kept thinking I'm being too hard on them. Expecting too much. So, stepping back and letting things happen in their own time seemed a good idea. Then more things occured. I finally had to face the fact that someone I always looked up to wasn't quite the person I thought they were. Damn, that's a hard thing to face! I don't generally idolize people. My brothers, maybe. But they're perfect so it's okay to idolize them. LOL

Seriously though, have you ever found yourself in the position where your idol turned out to be lame? Did it bother you much or did you just move on? Whether a movie star, family member, teacher, singer, writer, whatever. We all have people we look up to, don't we? And looking up to them, even using them as a model isn't necessarily a bad thing. Our idols get us through some of the hardest times in our lives, even though they don't know it. And I don't expect anyone to be perfect, it's not about perfection. But when your idol turns out to be an egotistical idiot, that's a slap in the face that you can't ignore, ya know?

So, has this ever happened to you? If so, was it hard to learn that the person you respected and admired wasn't all that worthy of respect and admiration?


Regina Carlysle said...

It's very disappointing to realize someone you look up to isn't all you'd thought or imagined. Especially if they have created a 'public personae' they can't in reality, live up to. You come to think during those times this person was a fake and a phony. I hate that disappointment but over the years, I've learned to blow it off and move on.

I guess it's best to take lots of this stuff with a grain of salt. Look at Tiger Woods. His entire career was built around his being this amazing family man and now all the dirt is out there in the public eye. I just believe that if you present yourself as being a certain way, eventually the truth comes out. Best to keep things real.

Anne Rainey said...

I agree with you 100%, Regina! And to add to it, I think a lot of people obtain a little bit of popularity and they just think that suddenly they're a god or something.

We see it happen all the time in publishing. A writer hits the NY Times best seller list a few times and suddenly the world of publishing can't function without their masterpieces. The truth is that there are a thousand other wonderfu, eager authors just waiting to take their place. No one is THAT good.

Jake - but not the one said...

Pedestals are difficult places to occupy. None of us are static persons; we all change throughout our lives, and many times those changes come about because of mistakes we make. I think it likely that every mistake also entails a falling off somebody's idea of a pedestal.

Having fallen off a few pedestals in my day, I try to remind myself that my feet are made of clay, that my own growth is rooted in the fertilizer of my many mistakes, and that no one is free from error.

I think most pedestals are not the creation of the pedestalee, but of friends and admirers. I read an interesting article once, one that maintained true adults have no heroes. One way to not have our heroes fall off pedestals is to refuse to put them there. Or, to not have heroes in the first place. Just friends who inspire us to be the best we can be, even when we, and they, often fail.

Madison Scott said...

That is really frustrating. I've been there before and its not a fun place to be. Like Reg said, just take it with a grain of salt.

Anonymous said...

I HATE being let down by some one I've admired! To me, it happened with Mel Gibson. For years, I thought he was just the cutest actor and I never missed a movie he was in. Then one day, I saw a picture of him drunk and that was the end. I have a true loathing of drunks. I no longer watch his movies or think he's cute. I know..I know, I am too unforgiving, but when it comes to drunks, I can't help myself. They are a danger to themselves and everyone else.

Dalton Diaz said...

All you have to do is look at Sandra Bullock and Jesse James. My usual reaction to celebrity love lives is an eye roll, but my heart truly hurts for her.