Friday, November 26, 2010

Five Stupid Things

1. With the absence of laundry detergent, and needing to wash something pronto, I used dishwashing liquid in my washing machine. I squeezed a few liberal squirts into the detergent drawer, set the machine to wash, and walked away, as you do. Only to return and find my kitchen floor a mass of thick bubbles, which had spewed out of the drawer, the base of the machine, and even from the door rim.

Needless to say, I didn’t learn from my experience and repeated it a few times over the years. Now, though, when I need to wash something in an emergency and I have no actual detergent, I’ve learned that only ONE squirt of dishwashing liquid is sufficient.

2. You’d think, from the above experience, I wouldn’t have squeezed liberal squirts of dishwashing liquid into my dishwasher when I’d run out of tablets either, but I, uh, did. With the same results as the washing machine. I must say, seeing the density of bubbles inside from the base to the top of my dishwasher looked appealing, and made me think of those foam parties people attend. Of course, I can’t fit in my dishwasher, more’s the pity, but if I could…

I spent some time scooping out the bubbles, flinging them out the back door. It took about three cycles to get rid of those bubbles and many towels were used to soak the mess from the floor.

3. I once fancied boiled eggs and set them on the hob to cook. While they bubbled away, I opened a WIP. Mistake. The water boiled dry, and my eggs, once I rescued them and took off the shells, resembled rubber. I threw one at the drainer beside the sink to test whether it would bounce. It didn’t. It made a rather loud thud, though.

4. I bought a pizza. A big pizza. The size of my oven’s width. I’d also bought a large so-called “pizza slice”, which would supposedly lift the pizza out with no problem at all. The pizza cooking instructions said to place the pizza on a baking tray, but I didn’t have one big enough. Oh well. I shoved the pizza directly onto the oven shelf—the kind with metal rungs—and waited for our dinner to cook.

I didn’t know it was one of those pizzas where the base isn’t like bread but literally dough. So, while the heat did its magic, defrosting the pizza, the cheese-and-tomato delight turned into a gloopy mess, which seeped between the shelf rungs and hung there. I smelled burning—the cheese melting and hitting the oven base—and rushed in to save the pizza. It couldn’t be saved. Also, the pizza slice didn’t work. Okay, it wouldn’t with the mess I’d created, but I wanted to use that slice, damn it! So instead I used the slice to abuse the pizza, hacking at it until my anger was assuaged. I remember reporting this on Facebook.

5. Do not ask me why I did the following. I have no clue myself.

After buying a plate, which rather buggingly had a label slapped in the centre, I proceeded to pick the label off—only to find it was one of those labels that don’t “peel easy” like the wording on the label proclaimed. The top layer of the label came off, leaving behind that irritating translucent remnant and the glue. So I scraped it with my fingernail, managing to get the paper part off, but that glue…ugh, it still remained. So I washed it. Thought it would come off with a bit of scrubbing with the scourer. It didn’t. So then I dried it with a tea towel, leaving the glue covered in tea towel fluff.

I thought about white spirit—yes, that would get it off—but as the plate was a decorative one I’d planned to use to hold my candles, I didn’t think white spirit was a wise idea. After all, I wasn’t sure whether, even though it would be dry, the white spirit might catch fire. You just don’t know these things, do you? Or is it just me who has these insane thoughts?

Anyway, beside me on the kitchen side was a can of de-icer. I know, I know…

I sprayed de-icer on the glue, which turned it into this snotty stuff that STILL wouldn’t come off the plate. And then I wondered if that had been a mistake too—would de-icer catch fire when I lit my candles? In the end, I scraped the glue off with a knife, but there was still a sticky feel where the label had been. The candles hide the sticky square, but I’ll admit I haven’t lit those candles through fear of igniting the damn plate—silly thought, I’m sure—and instead bought a different candle that I’ve placed on a little glass base and light every day.

What silly things have you done in and around the home? Please share so I don’t feel so alone in my stupidity!


Tess MacKall said...

Foam party, huh? Sounds like the makings for a book.

And I have to admit, I've done the same trick with my washer and dishwasher. The foam just never stops, does it? But I only did it once for each of those machines, Nat. That was enough for me for sure.

Those sticky labels are the worst. I hate them. Why does a company put those things on products? The other thing I hate? Those clear, hard plastic packages that companies use to put their products in and no one can open without taking a hacksaw to them. Then you find out that the product is not worth it or is not what you thought it was and you take it back to the store like that for a refund and they look at you like you're insane. should have put it in a box! Plain old cardboard I can handle.

And I've done the boiled egg thing too. lol

Regina Carlysle said...

My eggs explode. Almost every time! I've decided to never ever open a WIP while eggs are boiling. I once used liquid dishwashing soap in my dishwasher. BIG MISTAKE. Bubbles everywhere. As to the sticky tags? Try plain old vegetable oil. I use a product called Goo Gone. It's oil based so I think just about anything oil based will remove the glue. Just rub with your fingers and it should roll right off.

C. Zampa said...

What is a foam party? It sounds very interesting!

Hey, soak the plate in soapy water for an hour so. Usually, after a good soak, even those stubborn remnants of label will easily scrape off with a fingernail.

I can't think right off hand of anything I've done in my place to report. But I did have a friend once, when we were in school, who set an unopened can of beans in a pot of water to boil, to heat the beans up. The can exploded, shooting beans on every exposed kitchen wall, especially the ceiling. A disaster.

Alexis Reed said...

I *really* want to know more about this foam party business...

As for the snot on the plate: there's a product called (rather appropriately) "Goo Gone" that works *fabulously* on stubborn labels. It's available on amazon: There, I've had my Heloise moment for the week.

Oh, and I've done the dishwasher thing too. :)

Natalie Dae said...

Yes, Tess! Those plastic wrappers are insane. I also dislike the amount of those little twisty tie things they secure stuff into boxes with, or worse, CABLE TIES!


Natalie Dae said...

Oooh, veg oil, Reg. Good idea!

Writers and eggs. There's a trend here LMAO.


Natalie Dae said...

CZ! AHAHAHAHAHAH @ the beans!

I've heard the younger generation go to foam parties in places like Ibiza. They fill the nightclub with foam. Weird behaviour!


Natalie Dae said...

Hi Alexis!

I wonder if they'd ship Goo Gone to me in the UK?

LOL @ foam party. Piqued your interest, huh?


Madison Scott said...

Nat, I have SO done the soap thing. I put regular dish soap in my dishwasher and had a bubble party in my kitchen. TWICE. So yeah, been there. Also, I was cooking dinner the other night. Boiling noodles for my hubby and I did the same thing. All the water was gone and the noodles were all slimey in mushy. VERY gross. lol.

Natalie Dae said...

Hahahah @ slimy noodles, Madison. They are just nasty things when overcooked!


Tory Richards said...

LOL...I had special guests over once and decided to serve up one of those fancy ice cream cakes. I didn't remove the thin layer of styrofoam on the bottom but cut through it with each slice I cut and served. Was I mortified as we all sat there unable to cut through the cake's bottom with our forks. Toughest ice cream cake I ever served! Then I figured out what I'd done.

Unknown said...

Couple weeks ago, I was left by hubs with instructions on finishing dinner while he was out somewhere. One of teh instructions was don't overcook the carrots. Well.

They were steaming in the pot, and I figured as long as steam was comming out the little steam hole, I was okay.

Did you know that carrots 'bleed' while they steam? the resulting carrot juice will burn to the bottom of your pot into a thick, black goop that is very, very hard to remove.

I didn't know that. Now I do...

(You need a product called 'Goo-gone' to get that sticky lable crap off your dishes. It's safe for most items - including sofa cushions, and it removes silly putty - and a quick wash with soapy water will get the goo-gone off when you're done)

Natalie Dae said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA Tory. That's one of the funniest things ever, but also made me say "Awww, bless her!" at the thought of when realisation dawned. It's one of those things, too, that will always be remembered and hauled out every time someone eats ice cream cake. You'll never be allowed to forget it!


Natalie Dae said...

Jaime, HAHAHAHA @ I didn't know that. Now I do...

See, I've never heard of this Goo Gone. Annoys me that we don't get things like this in the UK until way behind you guys.