Thursday, June 30, 2011

I'm the mean one

I'm going to take a minute to sound like my mother. I know it's the thing we all fear, but it has to be done. WTF is wrong with young people today? Okay, so I'm not old or even close to it, but by young people I mean the small humans like mine.

I have adorable small humans. I only recently admitted that they are my daughters, not my nieces, because I needed to protect them from a particular group of people with very sniffy long noses. Now that those individuals are mostly extracted or distracted, I can freely discuss my awesome kids. I have two. One of them is fourteen and the other is eleven. And no, meeting me, you probably wouldn't think they were my kids because most people think I'm their sister--and they aren't being faux nice. I just don't look like a mom.

Anyway, we laugh a lot and pretty much adore each other constantly. The problem is, they have friends who don't have good relationships with their parent/s. I try to be understanding when they come to my house. I ask only two things: Respect my things, Respect the people in my house. Otherwise you have free reign to chill out. I won't bug you. I'll feed you. I'll do my best to make you comfortable and happy. I'll even try to make you laugh with us.

So why is it that these same kids are the ones to leave drinks on unprotected surfaces, let pudding cups topple over on books, leave food on the floor where it can make my cat sick, and then freaking roll their eyes at me when I call them on it? Who gave these kids such entitlement to ignore an adult who's telling them to be respectful. They don't even make eye contact!

And don't get me started about movie theaters! Okay, you started it! The talking, the bright light texting, the feet on the back of the chair I'm sitting in. ARE YOU ANIMALS? Seriously?! Who the f*ck buys a movie ticket late into a movie, goes to the back corner to talk through the whole thing? Why do you do that? Can't you talk somewhere else? In one instance, there was literally no breath taken from the time they climbed the steps to their seat, to the time I left during the credits. OMG! So annoying!

My kids would never do that stuff. They pick up after themselves. They say yes ma'am, and please, and thank you. They offer to help before they're asked. Heck, they clean and do laundry all over my house, keeping it perfectly clean so that I can keep working. That's how awesome my kids are.

Who are the miscreants they bring home? And are we really surprised when those relationships don't work because the "friend" is being rude, hurtful, mean, swilling alcohol and flaunting their juvenile a$$es at the police? And why is it that every single one of my kids' friends have declared they they are bi-sexual? Really? Are you having bi-sex at your age? Someone needs to be arrested.

I don't know what's up with some parents these days, but there's a problem and it's in my generation. All I do is love my children and they turned into amazing people. What are other parents doing? And when I find them, am I allowed to shake my finger at them and say, "bad mama! bad daddy!" because I really, really want to.

A concerned parent who doesn't think she's a bitch for wanting a little common decency in our families

PS. While we're on the subject of bisexuality, I have to add that my new book, HITCHED released yesterday at Resplendence. But I'm an adult and so are my characters. They've had ample time to weed through pre-teen hormones to know what they like. And besides, in my book, only one guy is openly interested in the other and he's okay that the second guy isn't. Trust me. So please go buy my book.

Half-faery, Willow Harper, is the youngest of the Harper siblings. Just like them, she has no control when her gift will manifest, turning her into an inanimate wooden object. Fortunately, she has Bruce, a full faery male who has the ability to subdue her gifts. Though she hides her heart, Bruce is been assigned to work by her side on every Harper Security case. It was only a matter of time before Willow and Bruce hooked up after hours. Agreeing to a no-strings relationship, they know that commitment just isn't for them.
Agent Kane Wilcox has been tracking the identity of an arts smuggler for over a year. He's reached a dead end, but Willow Harper moves on and around the target’s property easily since she befriended the target’s daughter months ago. What isn’t convenient is the way Willow makes him feel, or the unprecedented attraction Kane has for black-eyed Bruce.

As the case progresses, one thing becomes clear, Bruce and Willow want him. But how can they juggle a three person relationship and still catch the thief? Kane is in it for keeps. When the case is over, will Willow and Bruce walk away, leaving Kane standing alone?


Jen B. said...

First off, I am with you about my kids' friends. Some of them are so cool. But there are a few who send me through the roof! We happen to live near 5 major fast food restaurants. When friends come over we often shuttle to various restuarants to pick up food. My one request, don't eat in my car. I am clear to everyone on this point. There is one kid in particular who ALWAYS inhales his food then throws his wrappers everywhere. I remind him to pick them up. He doesn't. So, last time he was over, I picked up the food by myself and brought it back. What happened? Well, he threw the wrappers on the table and floor. And, left the rest of his fries on the table. Then our dog ate them. It made her sick. He didn't even have the decency to apologize! Ugh!

As far as the bi-sexual thing goes, I just hope my husband isn't around when a kid drops that bomb. He has a hair trigger about talking about sexual things around our kids. I tell him that they are hearing this stuff at school and we need to know about it. He just doesn't listen. I know that some kids know really young that their sexual differences are the "norm" but to announce it is something all together different.

Savannah Chase said...

I guess some kids have this idea that they can do whatever they want...

Harlie Reader said...

Some kids today do not have what you would call the social skills and it is taught at home. If they do that crap at your house, you gotta believe they do it at their house.

I only have a 6 year old boy and he acts better than most teenagers. Trust me, if/when he gets out of line, his father and myself are there to correct him.

I'm glad that you came out of the closet, so to speak about your nieces. I had figured it out but I keep my mouth shut.

Harlie Reader said...

Also, Hitched looks and sounds awesome. Thanks for the blurb. Off to shop for it.

Pommawolf Emeraldwolfeyes said...

Oh I can so feel your pain. Although mine are now barely in their 30's. I went through the same things. It finally got so bad we had to forbid our children's friends from being in our home when we were not at home. Among one of their friends was a thief, and that one of the two things never tolerated in my house. Lying and stealing from me is an absolute no, as our home is where we were running a small business too. Most this kids would come camping our family all summer long for all the kids school years...they were always welcome to come. Just follow the simple rules..we had alot of fun with them.
As for going to the movie theater, I got so fed up with the out of control preteens and teenager yakking and throwing food whenever we went that I haven't been in movie house since Short Circuit and Space Camp was playing. Isn't that sad?

There are so many misbehaving kids that have no guidance in their own homes, and many are left feeling lost and just hang with their friends when stuff is rough at home. Sometime the chaos in their own homes is just too tough and no actual parenting going on at all. I have been shaking my in frustration when trying to talk to these parents in the past. When the parents have no boundaries how are suppose to teach their kids any different. I questioned one father as why he was playing triple XXX porno channel in front of his kids, and he told me it wasn't any of my business. I just shook my head and forbade my 12 and 14 year children at the time that their friends home was a No Zone from then on. At least I know that my two kids listened to me at the time.

I just had an open door policy with my two kids. With one firm rule or request from both of them. Never get into car behind the wheel when they have excuses. Instead call me and we would come get them & their friends no question asked....ever. Never get in a car with a friend who has been drinking, call and I'll come pick them up and take them questions asked. I was thrilled when the kids did what I'd asked and I don't think I would have survived their teen years if they had not.
Proud that they collected friends keys and called me instead. I know that they will do the same with their children.

Sorry..I didn't mean to yak so much....LOL

Great post, and I so agree with you and the other posters..*S*

Thank you

Mia Watts said...

Jen B, I'm totally on board with you. The rudeness thing is just mind-boggling. When did it become okay to blatantly disrespect someone? Also, the bisexual thing, I think is curiosity at this point. I know many people know their orientation early, I just find it hard to believe that literally ALL the friends my kids have are bisexual. I think some of it is playing around in the midst of crazy pubescent hormones. Fine, great, but why are they openly having sexual conversations like this? I remember giggling about the kids who were "active" but sex wasn't super common. Yet nowadays it seems like every kid is experimenting and it's happening so early!

Mia Watts said...

@Savannah, Unfortunately I think you're right. They'll keep believing they are entitled until someone makes it clear they aren't. I guess that's why I'm the mean one. LOL. I don't put up with crap from my kids or any one else.

Mia Watts said...

@Harlie, yeah, I haven't been all that stealthy. I mean, how many aunts cart their nieces around with them every time they move? Considering I've moved five times in the last four years, it's unrealistic. :)

Thanks for the kind words about Hitched. Hope you love it!

Mia Watts said...

@Darcy, YES!!! Exactly. There are kids in our "friend group" who aren't aloud to come here either.

One girl wasn't being fed and had no money for school lunches. The girls and I made lunch for her and then invited her over after school--since she was latch key. The kid trashed stuff, insulted my daughter, then decided I was horribly mean because I asked her to put her cup on a coaster in the living room and not to take food into the bedroom.

Turns out the mom throws things at the kid, has her sleeping on a loveseat in the living room, and the girl has OD'd on anger management pills twice. No wonder! The mom even wrestles her to the ground, throws her against the wall, and threw a laptop at her head.

CPS, seriously, get a clue!

Marie Rose Dufour said...

Hitched sounds absolutely great. I can't wait to read it. I totally agree with you when it comes to kids these days. I am not young nor am I old but I find some behaviors appalling. By day I am a teacher, and the behaviors have been getting worse over the years. A few months ago, I was in the office and a fifth grader was sitting there waiting for the principal because she was in trouble. She whips out a cell phone and starts texting people right in front of me. I politely asked to put the cell phone away. She was already in enough trouble. She looked at me and said, "You can't tell me what to do!" Everyone can imagine what would have happened to my ass if I talked to an adult that way. CRAZY!!

Molly Daniels said...

I've noticed since becoming a parent that too many 'babies' who had babies have no backbone or want to be 'friends', because 'they won't love me'. The kids grow up with no respect for authority and think they're the center of the universe. Thank god there are some sane parents out there.

Ooooh....putting Hitched on my TBB list!

Mia Watts said...

@Marie Rose, OMGOSH! I would have been hard pressed not to snap at that kid! The attitude of so many kids is THE REASON I don't teach. That was my degree, secondary ed. I finished all of the courses except the final semester of student teaching because I realized I didn't have the patience. I love MY kids, it's other kids I don't have the tolerance for.

Mia Watts said...

Molly, That's a great point. I saw an article online today that said, How to Keep from Raising Spoiled Kids. My instant thought, "Start saying no."

I'm friends with my kids, but I'm also very definitely their mother. There is a tone switch and they just know what things aren't tolerated. If I'm in laid back friend mode all is well. If they act up, it's instant Mom and they back off quick. I'm not mean, I just don't put up with crap.

My kids learned from a young age that their actions created reactions. They also know that once they've been disciplined, the matter is dropped. As a result, I have some extremely well behaved children who know how to joke and interact with adults, while maintaining respect.

Molly Daniels said...

That's another issue I've noticed; my 'grandkids' seem puzzled when I've had to discipline them; how can I yell/spank/put them in time out and then turn around with kisses and hugs? At first, they always wanted to go home or call Mom when they got into trouble, but now I realize Mom holds a grudge or reminds them of the issue. I drop it and go on. I think I even threw Miss Drama Queen for a loop the other day when she announced she was running away. I said, 'How about waiting till after dinner? That way you'll have a full stomach.'

She looked puzzled, and then later announced she would be running away the next day. I told her okay and reminded her to pack sunscreen and insect repellent. She's still here:)

Mia Watts said...

@Molly, LOL, great idea. If it helps, I always made a policy of hugging my kids immediately following discipline because it wasn't them I was mad at, it was their behavior. They got to the point where they'd immediately open their arms for comfort after the hand slap or whatever. They knew and still know that no matter how upset I am at what they did, my love for them will never waver.