Thursday, March 1, 2012

Deep Dark Secrets... or just vague dingy places

Ten truths about me right this second...

1. It's 7:28, my kids just went to school. Although one came running back after having forgotten her glasses (she wears contacts but takes them "just in case"), and I had to braless and barefoot-drive her to the bus stop in my pjs, while the other one was freaking out because the big yellow had already arrived.

2. I'm debating the wisdom of going back to bed because I'd rather pretend to sleep than work through my current brain-stall on an unnamed manuscript for a new publisher. Why? Because I procrastinate when I'm stressed and I have a deadline for another book in a month, which is putting me in a tailspin. Why again? Because it's going to be a m/f/m science-fiction-y type book and I've never written one before, but it's coming due and I won't work on it until the unnamed one is finished.

3. Deep cleaning my house sounds appealing to me at the moment, but I'm way more interested in the French press that is brewing my coffee. Ever notice how snobby those presses are (not because they're French, mind you, but because they're all posh and yet that's the only kind of maker I have because I'm cheap and won't buy another one until this one breaks)? They withhold luscious coffee from you until they are good and ready, at the expense of cooling down your brew. Pshaw.

4. My favorite part of the coffee is the Almond Joy creamer I'm going to put in it. When International Delights takes away this "seasonal" invention, I'm going to cry real tears. But also, Dunkin Donuts Dark Brew is way better than the standard Dunkin Donuts Brew. There's more body to it to hold up to my sweet creamer. And sludge. I love coffee sludge because it means my coffee is appropriately strong. Like you can walk on it without Jesus' help.

5. There's a red helium heart balloon still floating around in my living room because the thing won't die and I can't bring myself to end its life before its time is up. But every time I look at it, I feel guilty because the lady who sent it to me wants to get it on in a bow-chicka-bowwow kind of way that I'm just not feeling.

6. I'm actually looking at the jar of peanut butter I keep by my chair where I work as though it will give me inspiration for another point on my ten things right now list, because I think maybe choosing ten things was a little over ambitious of me, but now that I've committed, I won't back down. Speak to me, Jiff.

7. My daughter woke up this morning and her first words were, "Mom, what is Crying Mother Three?" And I said, "Really sad." She's all, "But I had a dream about it and it meant something. I thought you'd know." To which I answered, "It must be sad to make three mothers dissolve into tears." And then my older daughter said, "You've seen Crying Mother and Crying Mother II, now in theaters Friday it's Crying Mother Three in 3D." And added in her normal voice, "Why would anyone want to see two hours of a woman sobbing uncontrollably." This is how I started my morning.

8. I woke up with, and cannot shake (GUH!) the granola ad song, "My heart skips a beat. My heart skips a beat. My heart is playing tricks on me..." and that's all I remember of it so it keeps replaying. And now that I think about it, if your food is causing heart palpitations, maybe you shouldn't be eating it. Consult your doctor before taking on a new diet regiment that could result in arrhythmia, y'all.

9. I just got a new deck of Brian Froud Oracle cards (tarot) which are super cute and one of them has a "zero" card which is supposed to be like your fairy guide. Then you draw it on there and go "Hey this is my fairy guide" and I think, given that it's Brian Froud, that my fairy guide ought to be a laughing naked fairy girl with wings and some cute furry creatures, but it's not. It's a squat round dude with pointy ears and he looks like this (because I drew him). And now I'm wondering if it's a subconscious reflection on how I see myself.

10. I love watching The Biggest Loser, but every time I turn it on, I'm eating something. Like dinner. Or crap I shouldn't be eating and then I feel guilty about eating and telling them via the TV that they're complainers and should be trying harder because their lives are at stake, yo! Which then I feel bad about and put what I'm eating away so that I'm not a complete hypocrite because maybe I belong on that show.

And there you have it. The deep thoughts of Mia on a Thursday morning. You could get lost in there so I hope you took a flashlight.


Eileen said...

Oh my! Funny thing is I do the exact same thing. Iget weird looks from the hubby and kids. They just shake their heads. Hang in there with the writing. Daughter does the same thing with her papers for class. I guess you both need the added pressure.

Mia Watts said...

@Eileen. :) So glad I'm not traveling toward insanity alone. LOL.